All the time in the world, all the time

I just love that twilight zone episode. And I know many of my bibliophilic friends do as well.  You are all alone in the world, with everything you have ever wanted, and then one thing happens, like your glasses break, and now you have nothing. You are surrounded by your passion yet you can not do anything with it.

There are days I feel like that. 

I am surrounded by livestock, soil, trees, and yet there is very little I can actually do about it. So I have been following links around the Interweb. Reading blogs that you like, and I have never given time to. Some of them are odd, and now I understand why you like me. But one of the most common posts I have been seeing is that so many people know what the meaning of life is, or what should make everyone on the planet happy. I feel a bit harsh when I think, well aren't we full of ourselves.

It's like the twilight zone episode. Books made this man happy. It's all he ever wanted. He yearned to be left alone, to be able to devour the books he held in such esteem. Yet how many people would actually want this? To only have books for companionship? Only a few of us hard core junkies. The man was a hermit, reluctantly doing expected mundane chores to appease society and a wife he loathed. 

Most of us do that, mundane chores, that's just part of being a civilized society. It's how we can function en masse. It's how we stay healthy with sanitary issues, and just makes things smoother. I know, it sucks. Yet we all have that one silly little hobby that thrills us, that keeps us sane. And no blogger, or writer will ever be able to nail it down for you. They can guess that because you are reading their words, that your dreams are shared with theirs. This is far from correct. I know for a fact that many of you don't read this blog because you yearn to be self sufficient. Some read because I write to you alone, some read because you have the same twisted sense of humor and rebellion as what I ply over these pages, some read because they like chickens or other livestock, some read because it's like watching a car wreck happen ever so slowly, some are my close friends, some we are just getting to know, some are family, and one reads to get dirt on me and hopes with all her heart that my life is more cumbersome than her's. Now how am I going to tell you how your life should be? What it all means? When there is never one truth? 

What I can tell you is that my life is most fulfilling when I take risks. Not just adrenalin junkie things, like any one that has been to Gulf Breeze, Florida, yep I jumped off the levels under the bridge. Stepping out into the abyss and allowing it to swallow you. Of course it can hurt at first, but the risks are, in the end, usually worth it. I have fond memories of a childhood visit to Pensacola and Gulf Breeze, I remember the risks, and smacking into Henry Rollins, much more than the normal times. Husband is more grounded than I am. He calculates risks before jumping. Yet we don't butt heads. 

Our meaning to life is broadly different. We do have the same wants and needs, we have similar thrills. We have been in teenage like love for 17 years, yet we are different. You are different, and I adore that about people. 

And that in its entirety is what I feel would make my life fulfilled, taking risks and filling my life with adorable people. So thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I am never alone. That the reason I am here, is so that I can know you and share our joys and sorrows together. (Oh and the meaning to life is simple syrup, just so you all know.) 

We should be visiting Kentucky very very soon.

Pop culture Homesteading

I have been thinking a lot about this, and it apparently crested today. Consider this a ramble. And I know full well that this puts me on yet another list. What's one more?

Over the years you and I have complained about modern homesteading magazines. The way they expect us to spend large sums of money to homestead properly, you know, have that newest greatest gadget. Or how they portray a homesteaders garden to be unattainably perfect, weed free, pest free and completely organic. Well we have discussed all this in the past. The reason I bring it up again is because I am uncomfortable with the new batch of "homesteaders" that have cropped up in the blogosphere.

Uncomfortable because they proclaim themselves experts after 6 months. Uncomfortable because they regurgitate the same BS. Uncomfortable because some of their advice is dangerous and they do not tell you how to take precautions. Uncomfortable because they seem to be attempting to out do each other in prettiness. Uncomfortable because they over romanticize or blow uncomfortable happenings out of proportion. Uncomfortable because they are gaining popularity and neglect responsibility. Uncomfortable because it doesn't seem like they are actually homesteading but using the growing popularity of the word to promote themselves.

I am contemplating losing the word homesteader from my bio and blog title. I adore the homesteaders that I have become acquainted with. But the popular movement is not really something I want to be associated with, if it keeps this course. I am even thinking about pulling my book. I don't care if things get popular. What I care about is the truthfulness of the lifestyle. And it seems to be getting rarer all the time to find. Sometimes I find it difficult to believe that all these people that post repurposed items, beautifully done, daily are actually producing these things. They would have had spent a year perfecting all this pretties to be able to post them so close together.

Some of these pretty homesteaders have recently informed me that I am irrelevant. First, I never thought I was relevant to anyone but my family and friends. But I can see where they were going with it. Since the accident I have less and less contact with you. I also have been posting less projects and I am not even putting in a garden. It's becoming more of a basic farm blog. Second, if I wanted to be relevant I would buy more of the modern homesteading gadgets and spend less time actually doing things. (That was sarcasm)

I should have died multiple times these past two years. The electrocution by water, the stroke, the electrocution through my skull, the motorcycle wreck. Being relevant to people that enjoy throwing me off their property because I am blunt really isn't on my priority list. When I see something I don't like I try to fix it. Unable to succeed at that, I know to walk away. I am not walking away from homesteading. It is what I do, what I enjoy. No, I will still do that, but I need to find a new word for what I, and the other old school homesteaders are. One of my pet peeves is pop culture. Modern homesteading blogs seem to have moved in that direction. And it is only good for those that are selling.

I will not compromise myself by telling you pretty things. When pleasant and happy things happen, I share that, but not romanticize it. When tragic things happen, I share that, but not over dramatize (unless it is tongue and cheek and I am actually making fun of my stupidity).

Pretty 'steading is consumerist driven. Their repurpose projects have you buying materials rather than what you have laying around. Pretty 'steading is about out doing the Jones'. It's about hypocritical advice, reuse! Repurpose! Be frugal! Buy this junk that is twice the price it should be because trash is popular! Gmo's and hybrids are the same! Don't eat any corn! Don't eat meat! But keep pet chickens! Prepare for the end but without real skills! Spend time making pretties to barter! Cut and paste, cut and paste other peoples advice!

But where is the new skill sets? Where is the first time you had to get bloody to save an animal? Or kill one? I'm sad, doesn't qualify as a true emotional response to this lifestyle. You are not writing for me, you are writing for those that have little to no experience. Even if you have little or no experience. You're writing to share an experience, to teach, to learn, so you need to express it more. At least in my opinion. If you are talking to me, more than likely I understand the depth of sad. However those that have never experienced that type of tragedy have no idea the gravity of this emotional roller coaster. Teach them.

I am not writing this for any reason than this pop trend annoys me. It pushes aside and downgrades those that actually homestead. It almost seems like yuppies looking down their noses at those dirty hippies. Homesteaders are a hugely diverse group, but pop culture displays the old school 'steaders as hard core Christians, or lunatic pagans, white and angry. Not the kind, caring group of every faith, political alignments, race and sex that I know. Pretty 'steaders are appearing and they are given over to the green movement as super stars. Of being experts and mentors. Look she painted pallets! Awesome. But I know people that have built their houses from pallets, not because it was cool, but because it was all they could use at the time. Those are the kind of people that should be getting paid to go on tv, to lecture, to be mentors. Not someone that says what ever they need to to be liked. Wearing high heels around livestock isn't cute, it's a tad silly and potentially dangerous.

Pretties are nice. Something we do on long winter nights, or rain soaked days. They are nice to look at and most the time functioning. But pretties do not make one a homesteader. Never has, and in my mind, never will. If you have time to create a 1/4 acre gnome village, do you have time for animals? Don't get me wrong, it's cool and all, but homesteading requires more.

Now I didn't gritch when a plethora of blogs popped up years later after I started this blog, taking my niche of mistakes. My long time readers should remember that under the blog name, it said "a beginners tale of mistakes". The Wall Street Journal even quoted it. At that time homesteading wasn't really known in the blogosphere. There was about four of us talking about this lifestyle. There were plenty of farm and ranch blogs though. Then more and more homesteading blogs popped up, and I was thrilled! These people were like me. They were willing to share, and chat, and learn from one another. Now that is awesomeness. Then the green movement hit hard. Several of those homesteading blogs turned into just that. No longer really talking about homesteading, but reducing their carbon footprint. I did touch on that subject here. But after about a month or so, I realized it wasn't really me. I do things that do reduce my footprint, but not because of that. I could care less if you want to be green, that's on you and what you want in life. I am merely outlining trends in pop culture here. Next came the preppers. I really enjoyed them in the beginning (still am in love with the "old timers"). They wanted to learn so much, sucking up any educational skill sets that we were willing to part with. Suddenly that too became consumerist driven and there was an influx of those that wanted to only buy and hoard store bought canned pastas. As this shift happened, a few more homesteading blogs slipped by the wayside. I don't know if this is something they too truly believe in or if it was to be popular in this crowd set. All I know is the trend shifted again. And now the Pretties have descended upon us.

I realize that people homestead in their own way. And I have embraced them all. But what I am talking about just doesn't seem like true, honest homesteading. It feels more like a fashion show of I can do better than you. I would hope that we can agree that homesteading is about making a piece of land yours, creating a real sustainable self reliant life with little help from the big corporations, to be prepared for long hard winters, and man-made or natural disasters. To come out the other side able to prosper and function with our skill sets. Not having our chickens well dressed for a nuclear winter (that's me obsessing over chicken sweaters), or having more ammo and spaghetti o's than our neighbor. To have a house full of pretty, tire furniture that we made while neglecting to work on our gardening skills. I enjoy my white trash skills, but not at the expense of my homestead.

I suddenly feel like I am in the movie "Heathers".

I readily admit that I enjoy some of the pictures they post, some of their DIY projects are neat and functioning. However there has got to be a better name for what they do other than homesteading. So you can knit a sweater for a chicken. Cool. But there should be more substance, more meaning, less look at me. I guess I can't really blame them, they are selling themselves for fame. Everyone wants to be notice, has a need to be special. I however have avoided it like the plague. Only writing for websites when they have asked, taking it on as a new adventure, eventually ticking someone off and being asked to leave (more like ordered). Like I am doing now.

Consumerist driven homesteading isn't all bad. It has given a platform to some that truly deserve the label teacher. It has enabled us to sell our wares readily. It has stirred more interest in what we do. The general public is now looking at us. No, not us, the pretty people. However the trickle effect works here. Some readers wise up and look for the truth. Most don't. . . Shiny! There is always positive and negatives in trend shifts. But I loathe being misrepresented to the world at large. In the beginning I was constantly being referred to as Hitler (by people that apparently have no grasp on history), that was a gross misrepresentation of what homesteaders do. Now I am not comparing Pretty 'steaders to Hitler (haha! I know a bit about history) but they to misrepresent what we do. Homesteading is rarely pretty, and we lack the time and energy to create large, none function items that really have no business on a homestead. Nor do most of us have the money to spend on these things. I am not talking art here. We all take moments to do the things we love other than running a homestead. We prettify our surroundings when we get the chance. What we don't do is make picture perfect cuisines, large pieces of furniture, delicate and time consuming deserts, or chicken sweaters on a daily basis. (I haven't really seen a chicken sweater, but I am sure they are out there). We do those things when we have a moment to ourselves. Then it sits around, half done, for a few months until we remember it again, or is that just me?

If you have the time and the money, then go for it. Enjoy all the pretties you can create. But don't bash the rest of us for being white trash because our chicken condos aren't as eloquent as yours. Or we neglect to paint our newest project. Sometimes we don't have the money for paint, sometimes paint is irrelevant to the project because of the harsh conditions it is met with. Most the recent pretties I have seen wouldn't survive the day here. We are rather rough on things. It has to be durable.

And for the love of honesty, stop naming your blogs "the real" or something equally misleading. A homesteading neophyte was perfect for me when I started this blog those many years ago. It is still relevant to this blog today. Even though I have been doing this awhile, there are always new things to learn, old things to tweak, and to grow as a person. I thought about the name before using it. What person wants to learn something from a newbie, or does it have to do with porn?

To the few out there that write truth, I applaud you. I know it is hard to be blunt to the readers at large, to be able to put up with the criticisms and the attacks. I am not commenting as much as I use to, but I am still reading and following your adventure. I ache and cheer with you. You are my heroes. And I hope beyond hope that you too will not fall for this consumerist homesteading, this pretty competition just to get readers (I have seen several blogs fall).

Thank you to the hard working, bloodied, tear eyed individuals that stop at nothing to live their dreams. You have always kept me on my toes. And I know when I have needed you, you have taken the initiative to step up and talk to me. I hate seeing the homesteading community cave to the distant, cold, cliques that have rapidly developed.

(And before commenting, notice the tag says editorial. This is my opinion. It maybe a harsh one, but I have been thinking about this for awhile now. And if you make the occasional pretty things, don't take this personal, it obviously isn't about you. Read it carefully rather than jumping. Thank you.)

Oh. My. They are real! The chicken sweaters are real! After I wrote this I looked it up. Ok I get warming up those birds that have feather issues. But do you have time to make sweaters for your entire flock? Found the picture at this ezine about urban homesteading.

It takes all kinds

I know I shouldn't feel this way. I mean being surprised by this seems a bit silly, yet I still am flabbergasted by the sheer amount of misinformation that people spread as gospel.

Ok, yes, once upon a time, in a new frontier, these things came in handy to know. Rules to live by to help you stay safe and sane. But things changed. New pioneers challenged the status quo and proved that these rules were not always the full truth.

Remember when tomatoes were a poison? Of course not, you had people that proved that little ditty wrong. The leaves can make you sick, and the plant itself is a night shade. But the fruit is edible. So not the full truth.

Eggs, a floating egg doesn't mean it is rotten, it means that it is older, that the membrane has shrunk slightly allowing for more air, hence it's ability to float. Someone, somewhere decided to crack the "bad" egg open and decide for themselves. They found that it wasn't the full truth when it came to eggs. Yet people still practice this. All one needs to do is crack the egg open in a small dish. It will tell you instantly that the egg is edible or not. What is that old adage, waste not want not?

Corn has no nutritional value. . .
Grass has no benefits, better to replace it with edibles. . .
Brown or green eggs have more cholesterol. . .
Nitrates are unnatural. . .
Sugar causes hyperactivity. . .

Oh the list can go on. And daily the media tells us another half truth to scare the bejeebers out of us. Popcorn, apples, steak, fish. . .etc. . . Evil death!!!! Then social media and people we trust to be experts twist and spin, fit the half truth into their utopia (I don't care for onions so watch my Facebook page for misquotes and mislabeled scientific studies so I can get more people to shun the raw onion. It can only be cooked in this certain manner to be safe)

It all can get so confusing. Too many voices. It's hard to trust the info out there. Once upon a time I would receive hate mail, grossly out of context comments, and critical reviews of posts I would write. One thing was, I have certain rules to follow to keep my readers safe and keep legal liabilities at bay. So I would be attacked on saying things like, I do not recommend. . . And here is the case study. . . Warning potentially fatal. . . And I had so many people threatening to turn me in to PETA for my posts on butchering that I actually waited for them. I got into an argument with someone about beans being a fruit or vegetable. My view was a stance on cooking. But that is beside the point.

I guess my point being, take everything with a grain of salt (while salt is still legal). If something doesn't sound copacetic, do a bit of research on your own. You may find half truths.

Guess I am just getting cynical and frustrated with my old age.

Lonely

I have admitted to it in the past and am doing so again. This life can be isolating, very much so.

And it isn't just about where you live. It's the work, the nonstop talking about it, and the weariness (some will claim smell as well). You become different then you once were. You subconsciously purge those toxic from your life. Then you find yourself a bit lonely at times.

Combating the depression that can result from this can be complex. As the cure is different from person to person. I know a family that set up shop at a farm market. Not just to make money, that my friends is a bonus. They meet people and talk to strangers. There have been times that I only see and talk to my immediate family and no one else for weeks.

I combat it by talking to my cows.

Don't judge me. You talk to your pets.

When things get too lonely, the cattle really seem to help. I can tell them anything I want, and they put up with me singing. Except for Urth, she will talk back. I spoiled her as a child. Not enough discipline in her life. However she still lets me use her as a pillow.

Loneliness is a hard one. It does affect us, maybe a tad more than other people. And if you are a Prepper without your spouse fully on board, the isolation can be even worse.

Finding people in your area that have similar interests as you do can help. But knowing your neighbors is a great way to feel connected. Even if you are not on the same philosophy boat. And of course online companionship goes a long ways. But it does lack certain things, like facial expressions and touch.

Over the years I have been straight forward with you about the good and the bad. Loneliness is one of the most dangerous obstacles that we are faced with. It can cause us to be distracted and depressed allowing us to put ourselves in positions we might not normally find ourselves in.

Many don't really talk about the loneliness of it. Sometimes when we try, it can come off as whinny, and others that have yet to come to this life will tell us to suck it up. Oh and we try.

By the time you read our woe is me posts, we have already sunk very low. We hurt, we need to tell, to talk, to let someone know that we are aching. Of course we have mentioned it to our family, yet outside forces can help. Just the act of writing it all down can be cathartic.



I originally wrote this back in October, and it went to draft. So why am I posting it now? Because I have been reading other bloggers who are feeling this way now. This feeling of loneliness can make you feel even more alone. Even with comments telling you otherwise. Christmas is a hard time of year for many of us. You want to make it magical for your children and your love, but when you feel this way it becomes almost an impossible task. I want you to know that you are not alone.

This year has taught me a lot. One is that karma is alive and well, and looking after us. My friends (including you) and family have been wonderful. When family heard about Husband's job loss, they started planning Christmas for my boys. Readers have been more than generous with tips, and Facebook friends, those I have never met and live all over the world, have been sending small gifts to my family. Husband and I are proud and humbled to have such people in our lives. It makes everything that has happened less devastating. And we thank you.

Gifts for my pay it forward family have come in as well. Those will be sent off to that family today. I wish I was able to help them more, but found myself in similar circumstances. But you have once again shown me that people do love and care for complete strangers.

The only gifts I am able to give to you is my time. I always have time to listen and chat. My email is open if you need it. I know what the horror of depression and loneliness feels like.

Op/ed on Test tube meat

I have been thinking about this test tube meat for about a week now. (when I first heard of it). I know this makes my vegan friends rejoice. But my thoughts aren't actually about the anti-meat/ pro-meat agendas. My thoughts have to do with animal bio-diversity

The argument to produce fake meat, is that cattle farts are devastating to the environment. That meat demand will increase, causing more and more factory farms to emerge and then encroach on natural environments creating a devastating loss of animal bio-diversity.

My first thought was the utter destruction of family farms. Husband's first thought was Soylent green. (IS PEOPLE!)


Then my final thoughts were on the livestock themselves.

Many of us homesteaders raise endangered barnyard animals. Because of this, we have been successful at  getting the Dexter Cattle out of the critically endangered  stage, and into recovery mode. My Kerries, and my Milking American shorthorns are still critical. These heritage cattle are the closest one can get to what wild cows once were. Many environmental and animals are people to organizations will not recognize livestock as anything important. They are a nuisance, and have refused to help starving cattle in the past. Claiming it was better for the cattle to starve to death than to be eaten by humans.  "Why are we so worried about keeping them [the cattle] just so we can kill them in six months so they can become a steak dinner?"

Unlike wild animals, who we hunt to help keep population from exploding and causing numerous Eco problems, domesticated livestock must be bred with the purpose of eating (milking) to be able to keep their numbers up and to keep them from disappearing altogether. How can we keep a domestic species from becoming extinct?

With the UN urging global Veganism, there should be a healthy fear of new laws limiting our type of food consumption once this test tube meat is viable. (they claim it will by fall). I understand the fears of cow farts. I have been hearing about it for years. But a world without livestock? except in zoos. There are so many issues that arise with this.

Rural impact with this will be economically devastating. The "fly over" States will be dead broke.

Loss of livestock mean farms will have to produce more crops. (Like corn) and with people pressing to stop paying farmers to not grow, we could end up seeing soils stripped and then applied with chemical nitrates to help the growth. No more cows pooping in your fields, means more reliance on chemical fertilizers.

Animal bio-diversity will exponentially decline.  You can find the list of the first cattle to disappear on the ALMC website. Just look at the far left list, those are the critically endangered, and will be the first to go.

I am fine with meat alternatives. As a vegan for most of my life, I was and still opposed to factory farms. But as some one that once again eats meat and raises critically endangered livestock, I mourn the potential  loss of hundreds of breeds and barnyard species.

Blog Listings confusion

Someone, pointed out that I am listed under gardening, and here I am talking about violence.

I am actually listed in all sorts of places, gardening, construction management, cooking, do-it-yourself, frugal, farming, alternative, survival, crafts etc. . .

Here's the rub, I didn't list myself in them. I listed myself in only two places, under homesteading and personal journal, and I have only received a couple of hits from those places. Wonderful readers list me in other places, like stumbleupon, pintrest,  and blog rank are the most popular. Many of these places do not list homesteading or farming as a general listing, so many blogs like mine end up under gardening. Some times when a person asks to list a blog, the listing employees look at that blog, and if you have been talking about gardening for that week, the employees label the blog as such. (and I have looked at the blog rank listings, they have my numbers way lower then they truly are)

The most hits I see in a day are about butchering, as several e-how posts link to them.

So, now you know.

This is a personal journal that talks about everything. If you want gardening come back in mid march.

Candles and guns

Apparently those of us that decided to put up photos of our guns with a lit candle upset a good many people. I have been reading about it on and off for the last few days over on Weer'd World. Then I read an open letter by Sarah on Cranky Chicks with Guns. 

I guess I could always put my two cents in.

Once upon a time I was a young girl, and a victim of a violent crime. Not many in my life know about this. Because I survived it and no longer consider myself a victim. I was, yes. And I don't bring it up, and talk about it in conversations.  It was 20 years ago, and now I have no qualms about pulling a gun out on a man that just walks into my house, because he knows Husband is away. I don't know what that man's intentions were, but I am guessing that it was more than just to take a house tour. I had young children in the house as well. He heard my dogs, and saw my rifle, he ran. And I was safe.

But  about  20 years ago (I was 14 he was twice my age) it was a different story. Candles lit in honor of my victimage is not appreciated. Candle light vigils have their place, just not in mine.

 I thought I was in a safe place, I thought him sweet and kind. He lit candles to be romantic and we talked. He wasn't a stranger.

The lit candles in the room didn't save me from his savage beating when I didn't want to give him head.  The lit candles didn't rescue me when I screamed for help as he used his knife to cut and shred my clothing. The candles didn't comfort me when I gave up fighting and merely cried through the pain. The candles flickered and died as the scene repeated itself.


 I loathe this story. I hate remembering it. Even so I will not cower and play victim. 

Die Welle

I know that this movie is 3 years old. I am just now getting around to seeing it.

In 1967 a teacher in California named Ron Jones was asked by a student if the Holocaust could happen here. To answer him, Mr. Jones did an experiment with the students. Within 4 days the conformity and fascism displayed by the students became scary to the staff and locals.

Die Welle is based on the experiment, asking could the Nazi Regime happen again in Germany. To date, I feel that this is the best version of the experiment that happened so long ago.

It shows how a normal situation and normal human behavior can, disturbingly,  move easily and unnoticed in to fascist and dangerous behavior. Things that we have seen and heard in the last few years or so, that we now see as acceptable are portrayed in this film.  It takes you through the mundane steps and acceptable social behavior used to create a dictatorship.

"Strength through discipline, strength through community, strength through action, strength through pride." Was the motto that Mr Jones used in 1967




I rarely recommend movies, unless you ask me my favorites. However this one I do.

They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age.

We need a new Virginia. We need the question to be asked again, and we need an editor to tell us the actual truth, again.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Entire editorial here>>>


Of course many would say that the editor was merely out to get readers, that he works for a dirty corporation and that he only wants you to buy more stuff.

Being in the Heartland, we are not told we can not say Merry Christmas to everyone we see. That we should  be offended that the complete stranger doesn't know we are not Christian. We reply Merry Christmas and a Happy Yule.  Or Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah. Or Merry Christmas. The media tells us that it is wrong, but we are a hard headed bunch with thick skin. It takes more than a wishful nicety to lay us on the floor bleeding.

In our neighborhood, everywhere I look, it's Christmas and it's Hanukkah. Or a Scrooge.   Christmas means different things to different people. We do take issue with crucifying Santa Clause, but not a baby in a manger. We take the boys out to see the lights. One house has Santa and reindeer, the next has a nativity and angels and the next a Menorah . But it seems like many have forgotten what Christmas in America is about.

When we read news and opinions online, we tend to forget what is happening in our neighborhood.  That our neighbors get along, and enjoy the season for what it means to them. So many different traditions for Christmas have melded together over the years. Instead we see articles written about how Christians hijacked a holiday from pagans. Then the same writers turning around and writing about how corporate America is to blame for the commercialization of Christmas. We read how America is no longer a melting pot, it's a salad bowl, and that we should allow people to have their own traditions without acclimatizing to American traditions, yet the same writer turns around and says how Christmas should be banned.

Christmas and Christian bashing is the new hot sport. You see it everywhere, online, on tv and in newspapers. But I look around my neighborhood, my closest town. And they celebrate Christmas, or Yule, or Chanukah in harmony. They greet each other with a Merry Merry. They have lights up depicting what this time of year means to them.

Christians should be allowed to celebrate Christmas. Christian faith says you should witness to other's.  Christmas nativity scenes are part of that witnessing. If we ban that we should also ban, sufganiyah ( if you do I am coming after you), or the feasts and gift giving involved in Yule, Flashing lights, tinsel and colorful hanging ornaments used to celebrate Pancha Ganapati, or charitable giving (feeding the poor) as preformed by the rotating date of Eid al-Adha, and ban friends and family from gathering together to eat, drink as celebrating Shab-e Yaldâ dictates.

This is news to many of you, but old news to the long time readers, I am not a Christian. And I find no offense in Christmas. Small and Medium have been telling me that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. I say, yes, yes it is! I do not say otherwise. That is not my place in my children's life. No matter what I believe, it is not my place to take that away from them. I want my boys to grow up like my mother taught me. That no matter what your faith, you should be respectful to other's faith, and that you should seek out what is right for you. Not naysay or attack. Just last night, I read the story of the Birth of Jesus to my youngest boys. And no, I do not put the same importance on Santa as I do Jesus.

We need to remind ourselves that Christmas is a time to remember our neighbors. To celebrate the birth of a child and Mōdraniht (mother night) celebrating a divine mother. hmm. . sound familiar?  So many things the same, yet the mud keeps getting flung.

As a devout atheist, my mother taught me the respect and appreciation of those around us. As a born again evangelical Christian, my mother taught me to love the sinner, not the sin. Lessons that should be taught across the board.

Our neighborhood celebrates Christmas in many ways, and the Grinches stay online.

How many times do I have to say it?

Some have pics on their side bar blog feeds, so I am posting this one to push the last one off.

Please read an entire post before you judge me. Or better yet,  if you really feel the need to pass judgement without actually reading an entire post, just leave.

I have said many times that I am not the romantic homesteader. I will tell you the truth. If you don't want to know the truth, please please go somewhere else. I don't write this to appease you or anyone but me. This is my life, this is real life, this is what happens on a homestead.

The bird was quickly dealt with so that she would not suffer. Pics were taken just as we were grabbing her to deal with the issue. 


Now I have placed a warning on my sidebar for all the new people that might come along.

I do not read homesteading magazines

I gave up on them years ago. Sorry to my readers that work for them. (there are more reasons then what is stated below.)

The reason I am bringing this up is out of a bit of eye rolling on my part. I was looking for some info, found what I was looking for and then a bit of a squabble over "well I read it in this magazine" They are not gospel guys!

Sometimes having a conversation with someone gets a tad frustrating, "well I read in. . . that that wasn't even possible." What about your experience with it? Are you willing not to try something because some person in a magazine told you not to. You are not willing to try new things because of that rag?

Ok I get it, the FDA will jump down their throats if they promote something that they deem risky. I understand that, I use to write for food e-zines. But for the majority of people that read these as a bible. . . well it gets on my nerves a bit. These magazines are good for a starting point for your own adventure, they are good to entertain you or enlighten you toward a path you hadn't thought about before.

I got all excited the other day (maybe last week or so) Grit had a Kansas blogger. Cool, a fellow Kansan going through the same BS that I am. I clicked on it and started reading. She doesn't even grow an edible garden! It was mostly about those horrible weed sunflowers that I will burn, take the ashes and soak in lye so that they will never reproduce in my garden again!! But this Kansas gardener loves them. I get it if you are attracting bees only, but these things are so evasive that I won't have them anywhere near my garden, and the one year I planted them the wind blew the seeds into an area that took me 3 years to clear the things out of.

I guess I find the realness of these magazines lacking. I was so disappointed to find this Kansas blogger didn't understand the problems that we as Kansas homesteaders are facing right now. I need to read about the trouble and tribulations that are common, that are shared and how they are coping with it. How is it working out for them? How are they making it through this? But no, no one wants to talk about it. It's back to being happy go lucky I guess.

I want the realness. Why does that seem to be so hard for these rags to understand? I want to see photos of bleeding hands and a smiling face. I want  read about mourning a cow (though I really don't want someone's cow to die, been there, done that) I want to read about the wild dogs (or other predators) attacking their livestock and what they did to stop it. Not "oh to keep predators out do this". . . how do you know to do this??? I want to know exactly why you came up with this idea, not just because you read about it in a book from the 70's and that's how they fixed their own problem.

The reason I started this blog is creeping back up I guess.

I am canning dry goods in my oven and chicken on my stove. I should probably get back to that. Feel free to vent away here, no matter what is on your mind. I don't mind it at all, it's real.

I'd like to apologize to you

I should never have said I was giving in. That was wrong of me. The letter and my absence from this blog is due to several factors, and ultimately  I allowed stress to dictate my emotions. It shouldn't have happened. But this blog is about real life, not a fantasy farm. And we are facing so many hard decisions, so many disappointments. . .

I had to buy store bought ketchup for the first time in 5 years. First thing Small asked about it, "Will this taste weird?"  Yes son, it will.

But it is all part of the experience.  I have always tried to look at things as a growing experience, as a new story to tell no matter what it is. I was wrong to give up not only on myself, but on you. You as my reader, my friend, and advice giver. I do need you, if only for a sounding board. I need myself to stay in the game because it is what I want.

I want to grow, not merely survive.

It was a couple of things that showed me that I was wrong to break up with you. The biggest has to be the character reference letters that I have been receiving. I need them for a business I am opening. And when they repeated each other as I am not one to give in easily, well it has made me take a look at myself.

I am still homesteading, still on our track to self sufficiency (at least as much as possible). We are struggling to find enough feed for the cattle, but I think we might be able to pull it off without butchering so many of the them. It's all in what we are willing to sacrifice to allow them and the homestead to thrive.

I hope you will accept my apology.

Saturday Morning Ramblings.

Normally this would be a late night rambling, but as I threw 100 bales late last night, entertained some bikers later into the night, and passed out even later, you get stuck with a midmorning ramble. It might not be as nearly entertaining. I will apologize in advance for that. While I got you here, there is a sleeper blog that I want you to check out, Slowly She turned. Saturday's are coffee pot posts, but I have been reading Laurie for, what has it been now? 5 years?

A post from a fellow blogger has had me thinking. I will not be giving a shout out to the blog mainly because I like this person, and the last time a similar thought came up and I linked to the post such the teen drama broke out that I was pushed to resign from a "club". Though to this day I don't believe I did anything wrong, just disagreed and stated my point of view. I told you. . . rambling. . .

So the thought is. . . is it possible to raise well adjusted children in a public school environment?

I don't shelter my boys. I have rules, but they seem lenient when I compared them with other parents around me. But I am also the youngest parent in the arena. There are no kids in the area Medium or Small's age, only a grandkid that comes to visit. And the children that are Large's age, the parents are 15 - 20 years older than me. Yes Husband and I are the youngest couple out here.

Large's hair is blue. This apparently is an issue. Husband was talking with some neighbors about a mile out and they asked what was up with Large's hair. Husband replied, he is getting into character. I have been trying to think why this is such a big deal. He is young, he wants to play, to be expressive, to get stared at. But he isn't a punk (he's anime, ha!). The boy is a math genius like his father.

Maybe it is because I am so much younger that I don't find a problem with this. My hair has been many many colors. So many and so long in fact, that I forgot what my natural color was. But I grew up with this, and my friends were just as odd. But they were on the debate club, honor roll, track and swim teams and 1 was our Valedictorian. We played D&D and Masquerade. We never got into trouble with the law. But we were ridiculed by our peers only because of how we looked. No one looked at our intellectualness and teased us for being geeks, or the fact that I spent an entire year speaking in Elizabethan poetry form (math was an interesting class. I think the teacher had me answer more questions out loud than anyone else just to see if I could keep it up) We were the outcast because of how we looked.

I warned Large about all this when he first suggested blue hair. ( remember we are rambling here, will get back to the question soon) People would no longer see him as the mathematician, but they would only see the blue. He understood but still wanted to proceed. I have no qualms about it. It is better to do it now and get it out of his system before he gets into the work force.

But something happened, society changed on me. I am the bad parent for allowing it. Maybe it didn't change, maybe my role it it all has. Well of course it has, I am the parent now, not the odd child. But my hair is raspberry color, so I shrug it off. I know what I am and so does my Husband and kids. That's what matters.

I digress, I get reports from other parents. My boys are chivarious ( which we do not find to be sexist in any way) polite, and compassionate when needed. Well behaved to the point that it seems to shock parents. However once home they are spawns from Hell.

I try to give my boys a nice well rounded existence, from pop culture to our laid back homesteading ways. They don't seem to be conflicted about this. They know how to use electronics and machinery, as well as hand and from scratch work. Husband was hesitant about the computer in the beginning, but I explained that I don't want my children to be workhorses, that they should be allowed to experience everything they can so that once older they can decide how their lives will be. With Husband's injuries, he understood and allowed it.

Our pop culture exposes the boys to many things, points of views and the such. We talk about things, they ask about things, and we allow them to come to their own opinions about it. The ages make their conclusions different, but they are becoming their own persons.

We teach them how to do many things with only their hands. Teaching them the benefit of hard work. Medium has decided that this is not for him, and will procrastinate on his chores. He gets punished the most, but I chalk that up to being rebellious. The boys find it difficult to rebel from us. This is one way, and I don't like it. But he will out grow it, like we all have. He will get tired of the punishments and conform to what we expect from him. Once out on his own, he can do what he wishes.

I came from a very liberal family. Very few rules. I did pretty much what I wanted when I wanted. Husband however came from a very strict family. I rebelled and freaked out young, while Husband did after he turned 18 and moved out of the house. By the time I was 18, most of it was out of my system. No more drugs, and I was fine with settling down with Husband. Husband, who is 5 years older than me, still was rebelling. He was 25 before he cleaned up his act. And that was only because of Large's birth. Husband and I have decided to attempt to find a happy medium. Which is better, being strict and sheltering, or free and accommodating? We try to find the balance between both worlds. It isn't easy.

Homeschooling isn't for us. I m sorry, but we tried. Our public school system isn't the greatest, however we have had only a few problems, (and Small's situation has been rectified, though I still have issues with the bully policies). My boys interact with a wide variety of individuals. Their friend list seem eclectic to me. Not something that in my schools days would have happened. Jocks to stoners can be found playing D&D at my home. And no, I don't believe that Large is smoking. In fact he has got a couple of kids to stop. He has dreams and aspirations and so far has chosen not to disrupt them.

Some of these kids that come around are punks. Straight out punks. Disrespectful and possibly criminals. Their parents seem oblivious to this fact, and claim that Large is the bad influence. My child doesn't have a juvenile record like yours. But that doesn't mean Large didn't convince them to do something. I am not stupid, my children are capable of anything, and I wouldn't put it past them. I will never deny or lay blame on someone else if they end up doing something bad. However in the instances so far, Large is not the person that is the problem.

So my boys are indeed in the public school system. However I do not leave their education completely up to them.

Will the public school system corrupt my boys? Indoctrinate them into 1 way of thinking? It could if I allowed it. Parents really ought to be more involved. If a parent isn't very interested in their child's life, then the cliques will become that child's family. I know from experience. I was too free. But if a parent is too strict the child will end up rebelling to dangerous levels.

I do think that you can raise a well adjust child with in the public schools system, as long as you keep involved. But I guess only time will tell and prove me right or wrong.

Enjoy the ramble. . .

(this was not in any way an anti homeschooling post)

The Public School System has Effectively Castrated my Child (update)

Small got up early by himself this morning. Which is normal for him. He complained a bit about his feet hurting, watched some cartoon and ate. Then complained about his stomach hurting. I pressed him about going to school. He has been missing way too much. He is averaging missing 1 day a week.

He finally told me he is getting punched by a kid at school. So we talked. This isn't the first time he has been bullied there.

If you get hit, hit em back. Most of the time a bully will stop bulling you if you defend yourself. But with the policies put into place by the public school system this is not tolerated. The defender will get the same punishment as the bully. We learned this with Large. Large was picked on for years. He is a good kid. It wasn't until his protagonist started beating up on another kid that Large finally did something. After years of abuse from this child and Large never standing up for himself, he defended another child. The bully is not a problem anymore.

Small has never cowered to anyone. Not his brothers, not to any of the kids in the area. But at school he is left defenseless. He has been told that fighting will make his teacher sad. And to Small that is a big no no. He adores his teachers, wishes to please them. He doesn't get into any trouble. He does have a speech problem and though it has been improving there has been a couple of students that has marked this out as something to tease him about. Small and I have talked about this. It bothers him, but he is trying harder to speak properly and ignore the others words.

Yes I know many will say that doesn't matter. That they will find something else to pick on him about. Possibly. Everyone got teased or picked on when growing up. And if you claim you didn't then I am not calling you a liar, but you might be mistaken. People might not have done it to your face, or you consider being completely ignored by your peers not a form of abuse. In any case, it happens.

But the schools give too much power to the bullies. When you leave the good kids no alternative to defend themselves, be it with words or fists, you create a necrotic child. Small so much wants to show this boy that he is not a victim. He tries to ignore him, walk away from his fists. But the taunting only increases. Here Small is a child that can be pushed around. A child that you can do whatever you want to and he will never retaliate. The perfect victim. This causes a domino effect. Once you get a child to cry or to put up with the abuse no matter how stoically, others see this as an opportunity to be a dominate personality.

They claim that the policies in affect help the victims. How? You punish them just as severally as the aggressor. And how long will the victim be able to tolerate not only the abuse but the punishment issued by authority figures when he does defend himself? Why are we teaching our children that defending yourself is a criminal act? When did it stop being ok for a child to try and work out issues before tattling? Once upon a time, boys would argue, they would get into fist fights and they would either end up best friends for years or they would respectfully avoid each other.

Suicide rates among the bullied are on the rise. This is unacceptable. Our children are getting to the point that they see no other alternative?

Sticks and stone will break my bones, but words will never hurt me

is now being taught as

Sticks and stones will break my bones and words will break my heart.

Were my peers so coddled by their hippie parents that we have begun emotionally stunting our children. No more bucking up and allowing the name calling to slide off your back because you know that what they spew is not the truth. That we should all be victims no matter the circumstance and dutifully play the stereotypical part.

We should intervene when we see bullying. We should also unbind the hands of the victims. We should punish not on a whole but on a case by case basis.

Small is unwilling to stand up for himself, to protect himself, to defend himself at school because he fears the consequences. He'd rather suffer quietly than suffer the wrath of his authority figures there. But at home in the neighborhood he will not put up with it. The consequences he suffers at home differ depending on what has happened. He knows that bullying will not be tolerated here but hitting another boy in self-defense is. He knows not to ever hit first.

Many reading this will think me in the wrong. That violence of any kind should be quickly stopped and all parties should be disciplined. Maybe I am too old fashioned, maybe I am too Heartland, maybe I grew up with all boys and have seen the interactions. Whatever you feel about me, my sons will not be involved in the woe is me pseudo victim party. They have our permission and blessings to stop the bullying, to stand up for themselves and what is right.

No, I will not be pulling them out of school for homeschooling. We discovered that over the summer that homeschooling just isn't a good fit for us. I am headed to the school with Small in a few to talk with the principal. I will get his hands unbound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~UPDATED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was interesting. Very short. Guess the principal saw me coming from a mile away.

First off I did not go in angry. I went in concerned about my child and what the school would do to protect him if they were not going to allow him to defend himself.

The principal reassured Small that he would not get into trouble for telling. Then sent Small to class so we could chat quickly. I asked the Principal if he could see how anxious Small was. He almost cried walking out of the office. The principal assured me he would do everything possible to find out who had hit him and punish said child. He understood Small's worry about getting in trouble, in fact, he said, most of the kids that get pushed around are more fearful of getting into trouble by the teachers than they are of the bully.

Well skin me alive and call me luggage. Really Mr. Principal? I could have told you that. Of course I didn't say as much, I merely gritted my teeth and tried to stay the calm cool parent that I am. He knows were I stand on Small defending himself.

After a bit I got a phone call. The principal had taken Small to the 3rd grade classrooms. The principal pretended to talk to the teacher as Small scouted the room, looking to ID the perp. What a bad idea that is. Of course Small couldn't id the child. Not surprising on many levels. I think it was more wouldn't than couldn't. My boys will tattle on each other until the cows come home (and that's only cuz the cows get home very late at night and they are sleeping) but when it comes to other children, my boys will typically deal with it themselves. They come to us when the situation warrants it. They have yet to get in over their heads. And if they do, they are reminded often that they can come to us. Large came home after defending that one child, very smug and proud of the fact he hit the bully.

The principal once again emphasized that he was on top of the situation.

My worry for Small isn't so much the bullying. He will make it through it like the millions of the rest of us have. My worry is what happens when he can no longer take the bullying and hits the kid and the same size fits all punishment he will receive for doing so. The ramifications of having to sit idly by, seething of course, while he is abused all for the fear of an unjust punishment.

When he returns from school we will talk again. We will talk about right and wrong, crime and punishment, just and unjust, and that if he defends himself he will not suffer by my hands and that I will still adore him.

And I will take it up with the school board if he is suspended for ever defending himself physically.

I understand the need to punish for fighting. It is the policies that treat the children the same (victim and bully) that I take issue with.

Do you know what it means? White trash

We use the term white trash a lot. It is a simplistic description of how I feel about what I do when it comes to being creative and repurposing. I was recently looking for something and an article popped up about getting rid of the term.

From Tree Sugar;

On the most basic level, calling anyone trash is just plain cruel and dehumanizing. When you think of it from a racial perspective, there's the implication that it's such an unusual event for white people to be "trash" that there needs to be a special category. Political theorist bell hooks, in her book Black Looks, says that white trash is basically a code term meaning, "as low as black people." To hear more thoughts on the term white trash, read more.

Wow. Wait. I don't think this person has a clue where the term came from. In an age where not only PCisms are rampant but an era where we are told to "own" words, I think this writer is a bit off base.

I am White trash, however I am not a cracker, I don't come from Florida.

Now many people feel that the term White trash is about someone's moral failings. Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote a chapter called Poor White Trash in her book Uncle Tom's Cabin. She tells us that slavery not only produced degraded and miserable slaves, but poor whites that were degraded and miserable. Everyone looked down on these poor whites. EVERYONE, including slaves. Not only could they not afford schooling, they could not afford land nor slaves. And were unable to secure work. They were looked down upon by both Blacks and Whites. In the 1800's the description found its popularity with upper class whites to describe lower class people with questionable morals no matter the race.

I do not call into question my education nor my morals when I refer to myself as white trash. I live in a 25 year old mobile home, I have junk laying around everywhere, I am poor, I am white skinned. (I am Irish and Black Foot). The term white trash is used affectionately to describe myself. I can not afford to go out and buy a chicken coop, so I make one. It is as simple as that.

Even my fellow writers at Girls gone Trashy have up and ran with my term "white trash with a purpose"

So is it derogatory? Depends on the context it is used in. I am proud of our trash ingenuity, be it white or not.

Meatloaf!

Husband wanted me to say that we were talking about the singer Meatloaf (because I didn't know but 1 or 2 songs and he was lecturing me) when the discussion about integrity came up.

The song was Paradise by the Dashboard

I couldn't take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my God and on my mother's
Grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time!

So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time
With you!!!

Of course then I said that at least he keeps to his promise (laugh).

No more real men?

I normally don't watch tv, let alone morning talk shows. But I did this morning. I saw a piece on the Today show about changing the definition of masculinity.

The article was about men changing their ideas about helping in the home and taking jobs traditionally held by women. But then it got a little strange, when Matt Laurer asked these 2 boys (that wrote the article) who was a good role model for this new definition. Maybe I should make their definition a little clearer. "A man that will do anything to be a good father and good bread winner." These city boys declared that there were none in the US. Except maybe Brad Pitt

Hello my wonderful wives, you and I know that this is completely wrong. We have strong masculine men. Men that smell like used oil and manure. Men that coo over their new babies, only letting you hold them when they need to eat or need to be changed. Men who exude traditionally masculinity yet have a softness that melts any persons heart. Men that do dishes and play with children. Men who fix the car and a broken water line. Men whose eyes light up when they see you, men who kiss boo-boos. Men with callouses on their hands and honey soft lips.

Maybe it is only a few of us living in the nowhere land of the US that has these types of men. Men that would and have done just about anything to make sure we had not only roofs over our heads, or food in our bellies, but the love that we and our children need to thrive.

No role models? All one has to do is read the blogs on my side bar to see that this is not true, and their concept of the new masculinity is not an original idea. Forget the mainstream "look at me" people. Look to the everyday to find these men.

Where are the "new to them" cowboys? One is sitting next to me now.

Like my world, I'm on fire

Mother Love Bone was and still is one of my favorites to listen to. Great for mucking out the barn with.

My music is rather eclectic.



Prong, another band I have been in love with a long time. Talk about old school metal.

My music taste ranges all over, from Irish Folk, to 80's punk, from Russian death metal, to Southern Rock. And why yes, there is indeed some 60's love and a tad of rap and bluegrass.

My life, as my music, is rather all inclusive. I read blogs from all over the world. People like me and people that aren't. If I read something interesting, I keep reading. My blog list is rather odd if you actually sat down and dug through it. I have hippies, and green mothers, I have patriots and revolutionists, I have moms and dads, brothers and sisters. It keeps pace with how I see the world.

But some people will only see that I have Prong on my play list, they will not see Mother Love Bone. I will be labeled quickly as a skin head, a hate monger. All without digging into what I really am. You need to look at the whole picture, not just a sentence or two.

And I am seeing this happening all over with rapturous appetite on quite a few blogs I read. Posted by our dear friend anonymous. The blog world is looking hateful these days, and it saddens me.

I am a naive little girl. I get that. But the peace and sanity that some of my friends have enjoyed for years, writing about their daily loves are suddenly being attacked because they have an opinion about something. I must say that I don't clearly understand the motives of some people to search the web, to only leave nasty remarks on a family blog. I know that people can be emotional over certain things, and I myself have been guilty of getting hot under the collar. However I have never once gone out of my way just to find someone with a different opinion than myself so that I can threaten their families. This is beyond me.

If I don't agree with something, I might say something. I try to keep it respectful. And usually it isn't said until after I had been reading the blog for a bit. If I am new to it, I just move on for the moment. It isn't that hard to do. And I never leave it anonymously. I am not a coward. If you truly believe in what you are saying, then say it proudly. If not, move on, let them be. There is no need for name calling and threats, it makes you look like the bad guy and never persuades anyone to your side.

And when calling someone a racist and hatemonger, be sure not to litter your vocabulary with overly vulgar somewhat homophobic graphics.

Doesn't Impact Me

A few years ago there was a blog that was all the rage. I went and checked it out, left 1 comment and forgot about it. It just wasn't for me. Suddenly I am getting email alerts from this blog that seems to have become a phenomenon or something. The email states that I signed up for this alert. deleted it and went on my merry way. Suddenly I get another email and another, I finally unsubscribe to the service. I only made one comment a few years ago! Never signed up for this.

It seems that this person has become a little famous. A hero of sorts because he decided to ride a bike and turn off his lights while living in the city. What did this really accomplish? He can live in the dark. . . ohhh awww. So now there is a book and a movie. Nope not upset, annoyed a little, but it doesn't really impact me at all. Just something I was chewing over.

We have heroes. Celebrities that probably shouldn't be talking if it isn't in their scripts, and celebrities that actually do wonderful things outside of a studio that are humble enough not to seek out platitudes for their deeds.

We have talented athletes, that show us their amazing abilities and gracefulness. Some quietly give back to the community that supports them, while others. . . well we have all heard the stories.

And time after time books and movies come out about them. Which is all fine and dandy. But my heroes, the movies that come out about them is either because of a green movement idea or localvores greed. And time and time again they are made to look stupid.

I would love to see a real movie. Something that shows all the heart and soul of my heroes. Be it a documentary or a life and times. I know I will never see my heroes on the big screen. But I read them everyday and imagine how things will be for them. They enlighten me, entertain me, show me their strength and weaknesses. I know their children, I know their pets, I know their spouses. And no, they are not every day people. These are the less then 2% of the US. A small group that has hearts larger than life.


I don't think one should be famous for something that thousands of people do because they have no choice. I have walked for miles, been without heat or fresh running water. I have had to cook my food outside or just eat it raw. This does not impress me. But I am happy for them, and the others that find joy in what they have accomplished.


What impresses me is the hard work that some families do, with each other, and enjoy every single minute of it. Even when the stories brings tears to your eyes, joy shines in there some where.

My heroes?


Obviously my mother. I would love to see someone do her story. Grew up in California to a typical suburban family, hippie and card carrying Communist s a teen. Pregnant too young, homeless. Her band opened for Iron Butterfly, she played with Frank Zappa's kids. Sang with some famous jazz/blues singers, and watch Tina Turner lock Ike out of the Studio one night. She raised 2 of her children as Marxists, the other two as Christians. She rose from an abusive relationship to find joy and hope in life.

My Movie list would read;

The Back Forty

Free Range Living

The Unusually Unusual Farm Chick

The Ward House

Coffee with the Hermit

Ran with the Devil, Walked with the Angels.


Some of these blog writer have shared their lives with me for almost 5 years. Sometimes it is easy to Forget I have never really met them.

How would your list read?

A Morning Ramble

I realize that I tend to do this ramble in the middle of the night. But I was ignoring life as I lie in bed feeling like a donkey had just kicked the back of my skull in. I did my morning blog rounds, and was thinking about how they changed the NAIS name. And I suddenly grew very tired. Sad. It all makes me so incredibly sad.

Warning, this will end up getting political.

I have seemed to have made another new friend in DC. Many of you don't know this, but since I began this blog, and started talking about NAIS and telling the Senate that they are behaving like children and they should stand in the corner, or talking about my homesteading life in general I have several friends in the political world. Allow me to, for the first time in 5 years, give a shout out to a few.

The Sargent in Arms

FEMA

Homeland Security

Border Patrol

USDA

A congressman's office

A Senator's office

FDA

Now not being overly paranoid, some of these might just be reading because of their interests rather than something nefarious. But since yesterday and new office has been over, very interested in a post I wrote way back in the beginning, entitled "I am not anti-government". Now this is a post about the first time I found out about NAIS. Nothing about setting myself ablaze and sitting on the front lawn. It has links to articles and websites about what was happening, and my paranoia about how much attention I would get for speaking out about it. Well I did get attention, from Mensa, all positive, then a lot of people from cargill and Monsanto showed up. In their defense they didn't attack me, just read it. But that is long past. I still talk about NAIS, have posts up about if this program was so great, why has President Bush not signed his cattle up for it?

At that time, it was acceptable for me to say something about President Bush and the fact that he was allowing NAIS or now FADTS to happen against our will, but he himself wasn't participating. I was on the correct side of the political fight. But now, now I am seen as a loon and a threat to America according to various article recently published and by homeland securities own research.

Dissidence is Patriotic, has always been so. But we live in a double standard arena. Because my fight now has a new figure head, I am labeled racists, militant, right wing wacko. My tastes and ideals haven't changed. I still feel the same way I did before. But the president and the social scale has changed. Now I am eyed not as an allie like before, but now I'm an enemy.

Because I don't care who holds office, I care about the programs that will inflict damage or harm on me and mine. I am selfish that way.

It is they who have changed, not me.

I support the Tea parties. They still aren't sure where they stand as a group, but as a nation of people who all have true concerns and fears. I support the Oath Keepers. My father was a Police Officer and a Navy man, he would have been proud of his peers for standing up for what they believe in.

Isn't that how many of us were raised? To have morals and principles, to stand up for the little guy, and proclaim loudly that we shall be heard? Or was I the only one raised by a hippy? The Hippies were a counter culture youth movement, mainly white males. Now who is leading the charge in the new counter culture movement? You bet! The same ones. The same people that stood up for Civil rights, are the same ones that are now standing up and screaming at the Government. They are use to the name calling, the propaganda flung at them. These hippies grew up, got jobs, open their own businesses and started families. And now they don't like what they are seeing. And it didn't start with the newest president, no, it started years ago. The frustration just kept building, and now they have an outlet.

Let them have it.

They are not hurting anyone. Maybe some feelings, but then we go back to "sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." However Medium just informed me that they changed the last part to, "Words will break my heart." That ticks me off a bit. How are you suppose to function as a person if words tear you up?

The Blog, Dissenting Times, brought to my attention an article in the New York Post. I no longer read the Post, because they have drastically changed over the recent years, and no longer suit my taste of reading material. This blog was brought to my attention by a biker (Patriot Guard) It's an interesting article. Why doesn't the NY Times get it? My only thought is that they never grew up. They still hold on to ideals that are defunct. But that is purely my opinion that as of the writing of this post, I still had a freedom to speak my mind.

I don't preach hate of any kind. I loathe a few things, of course, but I really don't think I am a racist. I don't threaten to harm or do damage to anyone or anything, except that I will stand up for myself and will defend my family if necessary. I am not a birther. I do not blindly follow Glenn Beck or Chris Mathews (but I do have a crush on John Stossel, have since I was a wee girl)

I was taught that if you have morals, if you have principals then you are to stand up with you see an injustice unfolding. This blog has been around for many years, and I have spouted about what I have seen as an injustice. I rarely get political, I rarely talk about religion, because I have a number of readers from all walks of life. And they each stand up for what they think is right. And that is how it should be.

I will never talk down to you as long as you never talk down to me. I will never group you into a lump of people, unless you do that yourself. I will not allow you to fall, as I hope you would never allow me to.

This man that flew into the IRS building, is not one of mine. He is not one of yours. He is a man that thought the only way out was in a suicide mission. These are not the ideals that I bring to the table. Nor are they the ideals of any of the groups I like or support or write for. We are about living, about Freedom and Bravery. We are about living out the dreams and pursuing happiness in our salt of the Earth ways.

Many people merely want to be heard. They are scared of what uncertain future is coming for them. It is natural to feel this way. Groups support each other, lift the individual, help them feel secure. It has always been this way. I am unsure why so many people have forgotten this. Have we spent too many years avoiding one another that when a group of people that don''t know each other get together, it seems to be an odd concept? Apparently. We use to know our neighbors. We use to hang out with them, and enjoy each others company. Then privacy and self loathing seems to have erupt on the scene. But that has passed and more people are starting to talk to their neighbors, and realizing they have a lot in common.

I do not see this "up rising" as a bad thing. I see it as something that has always been. It doesn't matter if you belong to a Tea Party or with ELF. You ideals are different, your ways to have change come about is very different, but you belong to a group that has the same beliefs as you, that will hold you up and encourage your principles to bloom. It is not only about a need to belong, but a need to be heard. Why do you think so many people blog? ( FYI: I do not support how ELF has gone about their way of change)

I guess it comes down to, don't judge me based purely on what 1 of my principles are. Look at the entire individual first, then the group as a whole. They are not to be feared, unless you want to fear them. And no amount of propaganda will change that. Read all the views and you decide for yourself. Don't allow anyone to dictate your thoughts for you.

Now who wants to see some pictures of the wee cows getting bigger?