Knocking Me out with Those American. . . ham? (How to Home Wet Cure Ham)

Woke with an AC/DC song in my head. But that one wasn't fitting.


I start with an entire rear leg of pig. You don't have to of course. This is just what I happened to have on hand.

If you have a saws-all and a helper, you can leave the bone in. If you don't have help, be careful hacking up the leg. There is a few bones in it that could potentially cause you stitches. 

Make sure your work surface is clean, and your knives sharp.

 First remove a smaller ham, at the bone line. The second larger ham, follow the bone, cutting around it. One leg gave us 5 small to medium sized deboned hams.

pretty

Next make the brine. This recipe I found stuffed away in my father's things.

Recipe for wet cure

 2 quarts water

3/4 cup pickling salt

1 cup packed brown sugar

4 teaspoons pink salt 

(I know EVIL. But in moderation, it will not hurt you at all.)

Mix all together, until it dissolves. You might end up making several batches if curing an entire leg.

Place into a bowl or bag. Place in fridge, and flip it daily to make sure all sides have been soaked. This takes up to a week. 

Rinse well, and pat dry before smoking, cooking or freezing. Honestly it tastes great without smoking.

Cook at 350F for about 2 hours, depending on the size of your ham.

Devour.

They shot Fritz! Those yellow bellied fairies shot Fritz!

Normally I would not hesitate to show you a war wound. But this time, this time I think I will pass. However I will gladly tell you about it. It's not that it is very gory, it's just in a spot that makes it difficult for me to capture the true essence of it.

I know many of you live vicariously through my words, and many of you had a romantic ideal of this life, until you met me. I still have dreams of romantic visions, I am a product of Little House on the Prairie. But sometimes silly little actions can have consequences and slap that dreaminess right out of your head.

Prepare yourself for the drama.

What a gorgeous day yesterday turned out to be. The temperature was in the mid 60's, the wind was a mere zephyr, and the new fruit bushes were planted. We have had to replace so much due to the extreme drought we have be dealing with for a full year, luckily this month has had our spirits reborn, as I type there is a pleasant, hypnotic pitter patter of steady rain falling on my cement roof. The sound reminds me of a medium sized fan running on high. At times it will pick up, fall faster and harder, not quite the frog strangler, but a torrent of a temper tantrum. As beautiful as the sound is, I am getting away from the impending drama at hand.

I retrieved an entire rear leg of pork from our refrigerator, as over the past week I have been slowly breaking down our dear Missy into more manageable cuts and sizes. And as I had earlier come to the conclusion that the saws-all was quite off limits to me while alone, I opted to debone the entire ham, breaking it down into more family of 5 appropriate pieces. The first ham I did beautifully with, the second rear, the one I chose to work with yesterday decided that it would seek a bit of revenge, or maybe it was determine to become a Virgina ham, or more possibly it was my haughtiness that caused the situation. We may very well never know, as the ham refuses to confess.

The leg was beautiful, laying there on my counter top. My knives cleaned and sharpened to my high expectations. The first slice into the flesh took little effort, and an outline began to form. I found the bone, and began to cut around it, the first side showing me what the finish product should look like. With it completed, it was time to flip it over and work on the more difficult side, the thick layer of tough skin and hefty fat. As I rolled the 30 plus lbs of leg over, my hand slid across the already cut underside, finding a willful bone. The palm of my hand was immediately on fire and throbs of incessive pain shot throughout my left arm. Without looking, I thrusted my hand into the bleached water, then under clean running water.

Next I proceeded to do the, I hate the world, you are all evil, I am in pain, dance. I am sure you have a variation of this dance and have preformed it more than once. As the dancing seemed to escalate, blood poured, oh how I wish that was dramatic exaggeration, from my palm mingling with the smaller amount oozing from my wrist. Soon Large walked in the door, and in appreciation of my dance, joined in with one of his own. However he was smiling, and tears burned with threatened eruption in my eyes. Luckily for the teen, he is smart enough to offer to take over the butchering while I waried myself out with my improv moshing. He ended up hacking up the first small ham.

I bandaged the wound and ignored it for the time being. I made sure that appropriate cleaning requirements took place first. And I woke this morning in much soreness. I believe I slept with a clinched fist. Removing the bandages, the wrist looks fine, the palm... I don't know how many of you have seen a large piercing needle. They are triangular shaped, and hollow. Now imagine that, not piercing clean through, but grazing the surface skin, almost to the meat. No flap of skin remains. And that is what my wound looks likes this fine rainy morning. Sore, but no infection is evident.

(the post title is a quote from an anime film, and is really talking about folk legend, nothing more. Since someone already guessed correctly to what movie the quote is from, if you are interested in knowing, the movie is Wizards>>>)

When your home no longer feels safe

Around 1am last night, I had an overwhelming urge to post a late night ramble. Oh how I know how much you love to read my rambles. (don't lie, I have read the comments). However it would have been a rather pathetic woe is me type Self deriding. I was feeling rather useless, unable to accomplish a simple task, unloved and ignored. Unfortunately those are some of the pitfalls to living this life, it gets lonely. Few around you live this way, and all you tend to have is those that live in your house, and the Internet. However I was ticked at Husband, so solace was not to be found there.

I spent many hours last night, butchering pork. Tiresome to say the least. I have come to the conclusion that it would be best if I did not run the saws-all by myself. It merely makes a mess, and destroys the work table.

I feel much better today, about what was happening in my mind last night. Sleep, coffee and a cupcake always makes things seem brighter. However. . .

Why must there always be a however with me?

However, a few hours after a woke this morning, my dearest Hooter called. He was mounting up on his scoot and wanted to let me know something before he went into work.

For the past several days we have been dealing with man that Husband fired as a client. He is out right lying about the situation, and is making malicious slander per se and libel remarks about Husband on the local Craig's list. I politely asked him to remove the slander per se and write only the facts behind his complaint. He did not. Instead I got a very long, and in all caps, email about how he was suing the shop. He assumed I was the shop owner, and gave me all his private information. I felt that I should reply, and did so. Introducing myself and my relationship with the shop. And asked him again to rewrite the posting. He then proceeded to post twice more on Craig's list, and contacted me again via email, although I had requested that he not do so. This time he insulted me, as well as Husband. Then attempted to provoke Husband to call him. We ignored it.

Then again on Monday, another defamation posting appeared. I have been printing them out and flagging them. Hooter called this morning to tell me yet another defamation posting was up. As soon as I got off the phone with Hooter, I received a text.

The Text was from the other tech at the shop. He was now receiving death threats from this man. The police will now be involved. I was writing a cease and desist letter this morning, as well as contacting the Bar Association, as no local firms handle defamation, when the text arrived.

Now after the text, I have become a bit frightened. Why? Because yesterday a woman was parked behind the closed gates of my driveway. She did not come up to the house. However when Small and Medium got off the bus, she asked if I was home, using my name rather than, is your mother home? The boys told her yes, she said to tell me hi, then backed out of the drive. The boys however made it to the house to tell me this and I was able to see her car, and another car with a man in it, sitting in the road, talking. The boys don't know who she was, nor did she tell them. I have no idea. Never seen the car before.

I called good neighbor to tell him what is happening. And gave him this man's info. . . Just in case. And I will be waiting at the gate with my rifle in view to watch my children get off the bus.

It could have been nothing. Could have been a neighbor in a new car. However it is worrisome at this point because of this man.

I am wet curing ham, listening to Cannibal Corpse, and my dogs are patrolling the yard.

Don't Allow Michigan to get away with it!

Thanks to Yart for the Heads up.

If these pigs are declared illegal (which according to them, my Missy would be illegal) will it happen in other States? Will all our heritage breeds be considered feral?



You can help at Bakers Green Acres.

And please pass this video on.


Here is the link for the petition

An exhausting weekend

Saturday, the boys and I did a bit of garden work. Planted some more cool weather veggies in the ground, since our last frost isn"t until April. I don't care that it has been in the upper 70's, we have seen it before and a killing frost has moved in. For all those people putting in there summer veggies now, locally, I do hope things are different this year. When it warms up like this, people tend to forget, but really, you shouldn't plant heat seakers until after your local frost date.

Things are blooming early however. All my fruit trees are in bloom. I am enthusiastic that they will fruit before a possible killing frost. If not, you might just find us in the orchard with several fires going to keep the freeze off the blooms.

And grass is finally growing.

We also managed to dress out the pig over night, Saturday night. Took us only 3 1/2 hours to do so. A record I think. Missy was pushing 300 lbs. No more screaming pig is a burden lifted. She is curing in a friends fridge right now, and we will break the meat down to certain cuts later tonight. Poor horse neighbor's wife. She was afraid she was going to hear Missy make a racket. Horse neighbor said she had turned the fans on and turned the tv up just in case. But it was a clean kill. Remember our farm hand? He came out to lend a hand. He asked to do the shooting, and did a great job of it. Missy had no clue what happened, it was fast and clean. I always assumed it would get easier, emotionally, as time went on and the more butchering we had done. But I still have trouble watching it all go down. I can clean the animals with ease. Husband still must do the killing. Or in this case, the farm hand.

We are meeting with a lawyer today to attempt to stop a fired client of Husband's from libeling Husband on public forums.

The woman who was accusing me of starving my cattle, her husband showed up Saturday evening. It was a strange encounter indeed. He was very very drunk. Cross eyed drunk. He approached us as a friend however, and didn't show up to spout accusations as his wife had planned to. He admitted to having an affair with another neighbor, he wanted to buy us hay as a friend, he complained about the Mexicans in the neighborhood. Did I mention he is from chihuahua, Mexico? And is heavily accented? Oh but how he did go off about the ungrateful Mexicans here. Even brought up bad dog neighbor. Apparently he did a bunch a tractor work for bad dog neighbor, and when he only asked for gas and some oil for payment, bad dog neighbor told him he was asking too much. Oh did that set him off, and he went on and on for what seemed like an hour. He told me he is not like the Mexicans around here. Honestly I wasn't sure how to respond to it. Was he saying these things because we were white, or because he was drunk?

He then offered to purchase 3 of our calves. At a discount of course. I told him I would think about it. Then he said the funniest thing I heard all weekend. Of course me laughing at it makes me a bigot, but don't care. It was one of those moments one had to laugh. "if I said to you, let me write a check, you would say heck no because I am a Mexican. . . But I would say heck no too because I'm a Mexican." now come on, how would you respond to that. I stared at him for a moment, and just started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. He was impressed I could cuss in Spanish though, and we laughed about that. He stood out here for about 2 hours, ranting and joking about all the neighbors, but not once accusing us of anything. Let me amend that, all the Mexican neighbors. He did mention how he wanted to help us as neighbors if we needed the help and that he too was interested in raising cattle, then drifted off into telling us how a Mexican who he was training and boarding his horse didn't pay for feed or anything else for several months and he sold the horse. The owner showed up wanting to know where his horse was, and he asked the man which horse was his? Then he got upset with us for selling and butchering some of our herd last summer. Aw drunks. They can be entertaining.

Let's see if he shows up here sober. He didn't arrive yesterday with the hay he promised, but we weren't expecting it. However with all the rain, our hay guy has yet to deliver our feed. So I had to drive 40 minutes yesterday to pick up some brome because she was the only person answering her phone on a Sunday. Nice lady. Brome was still green, which makes my girls happy.

We have been seeing good neighbor a great deal more lately. Which is nice. With the weather change and our zombie moat doing it's job, we should see him more and more. He is planting a peach orchard near the fence line. Looking forward to that myself.

Husband and I are taking a nice long motorcycle ride today. After this weekend I think we really need it.

I told him to stop playing with his food

He says it's hand rubbed meat

She even lays on her side, and will stick a leg up for her belly rubbed, just like a dog.  But because he does this, she runs, screaming at me as soon as I walk into the pen. She thinks I will scratch her, I think she is going to push me down and eat me.

I am still on hiatus, I just needed a break from the drama going on, and I know you guys talk to me still. ~haha~

The Best of 2011

The cows are up to something, I know it.

Just about every morning, I have to walk Missy the pig back into the barn. The cows (I highly suspect Mamma) are pushing the barn gate until the latch breaks and it opens.  The first time it happened I thought the Kerries were merely evicting Yogi the bull over to the Shorthorns side. But then it happened again and again. And now I have a new thought.

You ever been a teen girl? or around teen girls? You know how they do silly things just to scare themselves and their friends?

Yep, I think that's what's going on.

They are letting Missy out because it scares them into giggles. They dance around when she chases them. If one isn't paying attention and Missy bolts by, they jump, then playful shake their head at her.

It's just one big slumber party out there some days. Good thing they don't have pillows.

The great pig escape

Missy is getting pleasantly plump. As soon as the temperatures drop and the weather is right, she will be butchered. We doubt we will wait until February to do it, only because we don't want a hog over 200 lbs to butcher at home.

Yesterday she got too big for her tractor. Or should that be too smart for her tractor?  She figured out how to flip it up and make her escape. She was jubilant about having the run of the homestead.  If it wasn't for the free range roasters and the weak garden fencing, and the neighbors bad dogs, I might have been inclined to allow her to roam.

But for her safety, she has to be locked away.

Husband danced her to the calf pen. Yes danced. She was just thrilled, dancing and kicking her heels up, kind of like when she could get a hold of a chicken skull. It was easy to get her into the pen.

The calf pen has been unused this year due to not milking, however the sheep have grazed it down. Missy doesn't have any grass in this pen, but she has started digging up the ground for root and grubs. The same dance happens when she finds those grubs. Wish I could be that happy when I get my dinner.

I went out this morning, well before daybreak to give her her breakfast. If she isn't fed by the time the sun cracks the horizon, she gets loud and demanding. She not only demands her food, but she demands you scratch her, she demands you merely talk to her. If not, she doesn't shut up. When we first got her, so many people kept telling me you couldn't raise a pig on it's own. That you had to get two. I didn't want to deal with two pigs. No one however could tell me why it was you couldn't raise one pig alone. Everyone assumed that the one would die of loneliness or something. I say the farmer just slaughters the single one early because they don't stop demanding attention!  Two must be quieter. (the only info I could find is that they are happier in pairs and less likely to escape.)

This afternoon I need to go out and re-secure the calf pen to hold a curious pig.

Other things~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have set in the windows in our porch/bunker thing. And Husband has been sizing the door. pictures and explanation soon.

Small is thriving in his new school program. In just a week he has improved immensely!

I will be butchering the rest of the roasters today.

Theft in the neighborhood is up. Nothing stolen here. . . yet.

We found $5 prairie hay square bales, and jumped on it. We will be trading a calf off for some of it, but that's ok. We had two bulls born this year, so no worries on that. Looking for hay is a problem. Prairie hay round bales went from $40 to $110. That's a huge jump. Horse neighbor found some for $50. But the quality we are finding for the high prices is rather poor.  And some people are paying $150 for round bales. And then come to find out other States are opting to ship bales overseas rather then truck them to drought States because it is cheaper to do so. This is bothersome.

Tomatoes are looking good, nothing yellow or red yet, but if the mild temps hold, things should be good.

It's odd that all I have canned this year is meat. Usually there is a solid month that I am doing nothing but canning veggies. Now I have to buy them. They boys are complaining that they taste funny. And I agree. The frozen ones are just plain nasty and the canned ones taste like tin.  But there is nothing I can do about it. No one has anything. I just harvested 5 gallons of hot and mild peppers though, so I am about to get all kinds of creative with them.

The Dark (and slightly uncomfortable) side of Homesteading

A skunk managed to kill all my "teen" rabbits. However, Buckets, our Staffy, killed the skunk. We thought most of the smell was off of her. However with the 100F plus, 85F in the house and her unable to do extreme heat because of her black skin and fur, she was given a cooling bath. Then she decided to lay in front of a fan and fill the house with the smell of wet, skunked, dog. I thought Medium was going to puke, and Small was a bit green.

Last night I skinned a chicken for the first time. I usually pluck as it is a habit I am comfortable with. But most of the time chicken butchering is planned out in advance. Last night it wasn't.

Missy is a good, seemingly happy pig. She gets fed all kinds of pig worthy treats. But yesterday the free ranged fryers found their way to Missy. Missy was enjoying her food as I left her, but when I stepped back outside, I found a fryer running and jumping, flapping and flipping, and Larry (rooster) feeling frisky from the scene. Blood splattered the other white fryers as they went in to attack and eat the flopping chicken. Missy was making all kinds of happy noises, and dancing about it her pen. It's the same dance she does when we move her tractor to fresh greens. She crunched away noisily on the chickens head. It was a clean decapitation though. And even if it isn't my preferred method of butchering, it still worked. The chicken had stuck her head into Missy's pen to steal the food, Missy wasn't having it, or was jonesing for some chicken skull. Either way, it was done, it was a clean fresh kill. So once the death throes finally stopped, I hung the bird and skinned it out. Decent amount of meat even though the drought and heat had stunted their growth. I am canning the meat this morning.

We finally have tomatoes growing. Throwing sheets over the plants just before the heat of the day seems to have worked. We only have a month left in the season, unless it turns out to be an Indian summer, so my fingers are crossed that the plants just explode with fruit.

I rejoiced and Danced in the Rain, for it was good

well, it only sprinkled. But we have severe storms popping up south and west of us. We should see storms here later today.

I seem to have a slight problem, no rain means few weeds to cook with. I am going to have to bend my own rules on this and create something using last years syrup.

I am making my own yeast.

Making another batch of soap.

Played with Yart yesterday. She runs with her tail straight up in the air.

I was worried about Courage, after 24 hours she still hadn't cleansed. (retained placenta). I watched her for sign of illness, but they never came. She cleansed out later that day.

Husband was seen head butting X (Ten the bull calf) Husband needs to watch those horns better, he got goosed with them.

Winona and Urth look like they will be calving in the next 30 days.

Signs of a cow getting ready for labor are pretty easy to spot once you get use to it. Their udders start swelling 30 days before the birth. They dimple their side under the spine near the tail. It's about man fist size. The vulva (that will get this blog blocked) and surrounding tissue will swell to the point that it looks like it is drooping.

I call Husband the Man that Stares at Cow Crotches. It's his Native name.

Once in labor, cow's personalities dictate what they do An old hat at birthing will never show you until it plops on the ground. While the heifers sometimes will be much more needy of you, or more independent. Some will act uncomfortable for days, while some only complain for a few hours. Best thing to do is to take note of you cows behavior. And see what changes occur right before you find that calf in the barn.

The pig is super needy. If she sees you she demands to be scratched. She doesn't care if she disturbs the neighbors or not.

Well that's all I got for now. Will be back when I have something to actually say.

Making your own small scale silage

Now is a good time to start making and storing your own silage. It is rather easy on small scale.

The simplest is for those that mow their grass. Simply mow, allow to wilt, bag in a large zip type plastic baggy, or trash bag, and press out as much air as possible. If mold grows on it, the silage is ruined and should never be fed to your animals.

Depending on the animals that you are making silage for, you will need different plant materials. Crops suitable for silage are non-leguminous fodder crops rich in soluble carbohydrates, such as maize, oats, sorghum, pearl millet, and cultivated grasses are most suitable for ensiling. Materials can be grasses, legumes, fodder crops (sorghum, maize), crop residues or by-products. These items need to be harvested in the young age, before flowering, to help ensure that you have enough sugars for proper fermentation.

And don't forget your tree and shrub fodder. Just restrict the amount of tannins. And be cautious of the type of plants you are harvesting for your animals. Tannins has been shown to help with worm problems in sheep and goats, still restrict the amounts though.

If you are growing legumes, harvest leaves before your dry season, allow them to dry in the shade, then mix in with your silage.

If you wish to do it on a slightly larger scale, a pit works good for storage as well (cover with black plastic and weight it down with tires), as does a buried deep freezer. Place your silage in it in layers, then walk on it, pressing the silage down removing as much air as possible. Keep it cool and dry (plastic and weights work here as well).

Come winter, you can feed a nice nutritional "fresh" meal to all your lovely critters.

Just doin'

I am canning and dehydrating this morning. And have already told you about how to do those things.

Dandelion Jelly

Dehydrated Beef Broth.

So I really can't think what to tell you.

Yesterday I was watching a new program called Headbanger's Kitchen. (there is cussing in it) I am really enjoying it. On the side bar it had suggested video's. The Heavy Metal Farmer got my attention. It is an older video so many have already seen it. (both on youtube)

I came to the conclusion that maybe this blog could use a theme song. Will have to ask some of my musician friends for a nice Death Metal Homesteader theme song.

It is finally a nice day out today. This means garden work, mainly. Every two weeks, until the end of this month, I plant cooler veggies. And then plant them again in August for a fall crop.

Corn will be planted every two weeks from now until the end of June, for a rotating crop and not being overwhelmed with the amount of harvest coming in at one time.

Husband has started berming the house.

We had our first severe storm of the season, with nickel size hail and microburts.

We also got ourselves a pig. I think it is an American Yorkshire.



Currently she is in a temp cage. And we are in process of building a tractor pen for her. I will let you know about that once it is finished. I tried looking up information for the pen, but only found a couple of pictures. Looks like this method of hog rearing isn't a popular one. But as we have no intentions of constantly retaining pigs, a tractor will work for us, and give the land a break between pigs.

Around the Homestead

I wasn't going to call this post "around the Homestead", but as I logged on this morning two of the blogs I read have done the same thing I was going to do today. Just me and Hidden Haven Homestead. So I thought, why not, let's start a trend.

These are different then the usual photos. This is about finding beauty in the mundane.























I would love to see your "around the homestead" photos.