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Wednesday, April 04, 2012

They shot Fritz! Those yellow bellied fairies shot Fritz!

Normally I would not hesitate to show you a war wound. But this time, this time I think I will pass. However I will gladly tell you about it. It's not that it is very gory, it's just in a spot that makes it difficult for me to capture the true essence of it.

I know many of you live vicariously through my words, and many of you had a romantic ideal of this life, until you met me. I still have dreams of romantic visions, I am a product of Little House on the Prairie. But sometimes silly little actions can have consequences and slap that dreaminess right out of your head.

Prepare yourself for the drama.

What a gorgeous day yesterday turned out to be. The temperature was in the mid 60's, the wind was a mere zephyr, and the new fruit bushes were planted. We have had to replace so much due to the extreme drought we have be dealing with for a full year, luckily this month has had our spirits reborn, as I type there is a pleasant, hypnotic pitter patter of steady rain falling on my cement roof. The sound reminds me of a medium sized fan running on high. At times it will pick up, fall faster and harder, not quite the frog strangler, but a torrent of a temper tantrum. As beautiful as the sound is, I am getting away from the impending drama at hand.

I retrieved an entire rear leg of pork from our refrigerator, as over the past week I have been slowly breaking down our dear Missy into more manageable cuts and sizes. And as I had earlier come to the conclusion that the saws-all was quite off limits to me while alone, I opted to debone the entire ham, breaking it down into more family of 5 appropriate pieces. The first ham I did beautifully with, the second rear, the one I chose to work with yesterday decided that it would seek a bit of revenge, or maybe it was determine to become a Virgina ham, or more possibly it was my haughtiness that caused the situation. We may very well never know, as the ham refuses to confess.

The leg was beautiful, laying there on my counter top. My knives cleaned and sharpened to my high expectations. The first slice into the flesh took little effort, and an outline began to form. I found the bone, and began to cut around it, the first side showing me what the finish product should look like. With it completed, it was time to flip it over and work on the more difficult side, the thick layer of tough skin and hefty fat. As I rolled the 30 plus lbs of leg over, my hand slid across the already cut underside, finding a willful bone. The palm of my hand was immediately on fire and throbs of incessive pain shot throughout my left arm. Without looking, I thrusted my hand into the bleached water, then under clean running water.

Next I proceeded to do the, I hate the world, you are all evil, I am in pain, dance. I am sure you have a variation of this dance and have preformed it more than once. As the dancing seemed to escalate, blood poured, oh how I wish that was dramatic exaggeration, from my palm mingling with the smaller amount oozing from my wrist. Soon Large walked in the door, and in appreciation of my dance, joined in with one of his own. However he was smiling, and tears burned with threatened eruption in my eyes. Luckily for the teen, he is smart enough to offer to take over the butchering while I waried myself out with my improv moshing. He ended up hacking up the first small ham.

I bandaged the wound and ignored it for the time being. I made sure that appropriate cleaning requirements took place first. And I woke this morning in much soreness. I believe I slept with a clinched fist. Removing the bandages, the wrist looks fine, the palm... I don't know how many of you have seen a large piercing needle. They are triangular shaped, and hollow. Now imagine that, not piercing clean through, but grazing the surface skin, almost to the meat. No flap of skin remains. And that is what my wound looks likes this fine rainy morning. Sore, but no infection is evident.

(the post title is a quote from an anime film, and is really talking about folk legend, nothing more. Since someone already guessed correctly to what movie the quote is from, if you are interested in knowing, the movie is Wizards>>>)


barefoot gardener said...

Hi! I'm a long time reader, don't know if I've ever commented before, though....

Hope you feel better. I actually had to comment about the title of your post, though. I LOVE Wizards, and I have never met anyone else who even heard of it! *happy sigh*

Phelan said...

Heehee, yes barefoot gardener, you have commented before, and nice to see you again. I know how you feel, it is one of my favorites, but few people have ever heard of it, let alone seen it.

LauraH said...

Yay!! I made my boyfriend watch Wizards with me not too long ago, and he really enjoyed it! When I first told him about it he thought I was talking about "The Wizard" with Fred Savage. Its actually a bit beyond my time (I was born in 1982), but I LURVE post-apoctalyptic anything, and the animation (especially for being 1977) is awesome.

Anyway, I hope you heal up okay. Piercing needles aren't fun unless you're visiting a parlor to get pierced. I cut the tip of my thumb off a few years ago making chili, and it wasn't fun at all.

Phelan said...

I was born the year it came out, caught it in my teen life, that and vampire hunter d which is almost impossible to find.

I made Husband watch it when we first got together, I think it solidified my standing as being a geek. However he thought the monks worshipping the soda signs was too funny.

Monika said...

Being the owner of various piercings over my life, I respect your pain. Hopefully, you heal quickly. I never woulda thought that cutting a ham would be so dangerous.

Phelan said...

Just goggled it, you can find vampire hunter d to own now. I spent many years of my youth trying to find it though.

Unknown, the pain is a bit more troublesome then piercing pain. Maybe because I wasn't expecting it to happen, while the piercings I knew full well what I was getting into.

LauraH said...

One anime that is harder to find than anything is the original dubbing of Akira. I HATE the new dubbing, as I grew up with the old, and I watch it now and it's like constant grating nails on a chalkboard. My ex-husband, years ago, downloaded the movie, then found the original dubbing, and re-edited them back together.

He was so nice, that when we split and divorced, he was kind enough to erase my hard drives for me, in addition to robbing me and ripping me off for thousands. Aww, how sweet...See why he's my ex? ;)

Phelan said...

I don't think I have seen the redubbed version. Most dubbed anime go through the same voice over company, I think there are only three that do it here. I hate it when I am watching something and all I can think about is the characters voice in a certain film is the same guy that does the voice for James in Pokemon. Ugh.

I can see why he's your ex.

Carolyn said...

Hope your hand heals quickly. I'm getting sweaty and almost faint just thinking about the slicing of your palm; I may not be able to wield a sharp knife for some time now. Yes, I kill & butcher all our animals, but for some reason, the slicing of human flesh makes me weak in the knees. Scrapes, knicks and other bloody wounds don't freak me out, but a slice, just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Weird, I know.

Phelan said...

No no, not weird at all. I have a thing with scratches on human wrists. Can't stand to see it, makes me cringe every time.

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