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Monday, September 20, 2010

No more real men?

I normally don't watch tv, let alone morning talk shows. But I did this morning. I saw a piece on the Today show about changing the definition of masculinity.

The article was about men changing their ideas about helping in the home and taking jobs traditionally held by women. But then it got a little strange, when Matt Laurer asked these 2 boys (that wrote the article) who was a good role model for this new definition. Maybe I should make their definition a little clearer. "A man that will do anything to be a good father and good bread winner." These city boys declared that there were none in the US. Except maybe Brad Pitt

Hello my wonderful wives, you and I know that this is completely wrong. We have strong masculine men. Men that smell like used oil and manure. Men that coo over their new babies, only letting you hold them when they need to eat or need to be changed. Men who exude traditionally masculinity yet have a softness that melts any persons heart. Men that do dishes and play with children. Men who fix the car and a broken water line. Men whose eyes light up when they see you, men who kiss boo-boos. Men with callouses on their hands and honey soft lips.

Maybe it is only a few of us living in the nowhere land of the US that has these types of men. Men that would and have done just about anything to make sure we had not only roofs over our heads, or food in our bellies, but the love that we and our children need to thrive.

No role models? All one has to do is read the blogs on my side bar to see that this is not true, and their concept of the new masculinity is not an original idea. Forget the mainstream "look at me" people. Look to the everyday to find these men.

Where are the "new to them" cowboys? One is sitting next to me now.




Courtney said...

I have one back home--he's taking the day off to finish moving us into our new apartment, because he's even more excited about the baby on the way than I am. He's not a blue-collar guy, he's a white-collar scientist. But he grew up on a farm, learning what it was to be a provider and a loving husband from his great-grandfather--a paragon of traditional masculinity, God rest his soul.

Personally, I think the ideas expressed by that motley trio on the Today Show about what the definition of masculinity "used to be" are woefully inaccurate, and pretty stereotyped. Traditional masculinity, as practiced in real life as opposed to its portrayal in media, always had room for that connection to family that they seem to be bewailing.

HermitJim said...

I like your version better than their's! I feel sorry for these guys if Brad Pitt is the only one they can think of!

Thanks for a great post!

TeeJay said...

That's why I never listen to Lauer and the other clowns on those "talk" shows.

They only know a different society where men walk around as emasculated eunuchs whose women control them. Those men are soft, squishy, and easily manipulated.

They have no concept of real men: those who are not afraid to get their hands dirty (who DON'T get manicures) and know how to provide for their families no matter what it takes.

I wish the media were more "in touch" with the real men of America. They are the ones that truly keep this country running in my humble opinion.

Felinae said...

Great post, Phelan.
I too agree with your version of what masculinity is. Brad Pitt although sometimes nice to look at is not what I would consider masculine in my world.

Have a great day!

Phelan said...

Well said courtney!

so do I Jim

Teejay, my husband said it a little coarser then you. "emasculated eunuchs"

Felinae, he is pretty.

Anonymous said...

These two clowns [and Lauer] need to get their butts down to Loudoun VA and interview my husband after he spent two [15 hour] days gutting our garage and then woke up bright and early on Sunday morning to drive round trip to his daughter's college because she called and in his words "sounded a little homesick, so we should go see her" meaning HE misses her so much he is willing to drive six hours round trip to spend two hours with her.

I have your definition of a real man Today show and it isn't Brad Pitt [I swear I LAUGHED at that.]

You put this very well Phelan - I am glad I don't watch that stupid show otherwise I probably would've thrown something at my tv and broken it. Stupid.

SkippyMom said...

PS that is me right above.

Kelle said...

Amen I agree with Courtney, well said.
I have an old version cowboy and will keep'em thank you.

I just don't see what women see in these"pretty men", sorry I like mine rough, tough and rugged. Give me manure, grease and sweat anyday to me the likes of Brad Pitt and the alike hollywood hunks*sigh*

Wendy said...

I stopped watching television years ago when I got completely frustrated with being innudated by commercials telling me that I shouldn't be happy with my life because I didn't have A, B, or C product.

I don't need a television program to give me an example of what a real man is, because I sleep next to him every night :).

Ma said...

I liked this post so much I shared it on facebook. Well said, and I'm very thankful for my man :)

Anonymous said...

There is nothing sexier than a competent man. When the water main to the house breaks or one that will take a nursing 4 week old daughter to the hardware store with him so mom can have some time to herself. Or the man that puts his wifes pj's in the dryer while she's in the shower so they're nice and toasty to put on. That's a real man.

Ms. Burrows said...

Brad Pitt? I'd take my husband over Brad Pitt any day. What does he do besides work out to have a buff body, star in movies and have lots of money? I have no idea. I doubt many people do.

Many men have jobs that do not take them out into the fields and factories these days. The computer industry and suburbia naturally has it's affect. But doesn't make a man not a man. Maybe less traditional, but tradition has always been changing, hasn't it?

There are days when I feel like there is nothing my husband can't do. I think he's just amazing whether he's fixing the toilet or bathing a newborn. Both of which he's done for this family, as well as be our sole breadwinner.

Phelan said...

Ms Burrows, didn't mean to isolate the white collar man in my editorial. not at all. My point was, that men can be both, and are both. Just because some can't see that doesn't mean there are none.

The Brad Pitt thing was said as "he helps his wife with bread winning and shares equally in the role of parenting, although they do have 4 nannies" (not verbatim) I would love to see what he would do if he lost his job, what work he would do then, and would he still be helping his nannies.

Robbyn said...

Thank God I'm married to one of the Real Men out here...he loves to sweat, work in the sun, fix things, tinker, and squishes the breath out of me when he hugs me up tight in his arms. Oh yeah, and he doesn't feel the need to apologize for facial hair or wax his chest and back. And he treats me like a a guy way, not like one of the gals would. Studio Whatever can keep their metrosexual "role models"...

FancyHorse said...

I like your essay on "A real man"! And congratulations to you and your real man as your big day approaches.

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