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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Hen and the Mutt

Once there was a hen, who laid the best tasting eggs in all the land. Well according to the mutt that would tell the story to her friends. The hen was a nice plump, white feathered free range Freedom Ranger. Who walked with a penguins wobble. She loved laying in dark holes or under a trailer house.

One day while the mutt was on patrol, protecting her sheep and calves, she spotted the hen emerging with  emotional cackles from underneath a trailer house. The mutt, colored like a German Shepard, with the height and sadness of a hound, took it upon herself to investigate. This was indeed her land, and it was she who protected all the happened to find their way to live in her land. She looked into the dark and smelled something warm, something that was vaguely reminiscent of chicken innards. A treat her human gave her on occasions.

Sniffing it out, she happened upon a nest holding several eggs. Some smelled too good to pass up, and she gobbled them down. However guilt set in and she sulked out from under the house, giving no hint to her human that she had done something punishable by law. And so it went, day after day, week after week, the noble mutt now turned into a desperate thief that would sneak away and find the hens most delicious eggs. But the hen was becoming desperate herself, and in an attempt to notify someone, she would lay her eggs while screaming for help, garnering the attention of the human. However the human was just as greedy and would take her eggs away.

The hen became frustrated, and began to move her nest everyday. Trying to hid them from mutt and human. But the mutt's nose was just too powerful, a weapon once used for good, now used for evil, and she would find the hens most delicious eggs and gobble them down.

The human was getting curious, and a bit frustrated. Had the hen stopped laying her eggs? For they were nowhere to be found. Until one day the human caught the mutt cracking the shell, spilling the contents to the ground and lapping them up. The human was upset and the mutt was punished in accordance with the law of the land. And for a few weeks, the mutt left the hens eggs alone. But the tinge of addiction was becoming too much for the mutt to bear, and after a time she began to retrieve the eggs from their hidden nest. But she didn't want to be punished again for what the human claimed was a misdeed, so she would steal the egg from the hen, and gently place it on the ground where the human could easily have spotted it, then stepped back and watched the egg, waiting for the human to happen by. Sometimes the human would come by in time, find the egg and reward the mutt with an acceptable treat and a good scratch on the head. Other times the human was too slow and the mutt would crack the egg and eat the most delicious insides.

However it become far too often that the human would retrieve the egg in time, frustrating the mutt's addiction. She decided to take the issue head. . . er I mean vent on. The mutt, no longer satisfied with the occasional thieved egg, began stalking the hen. Her nose almost constantly up the hen's vent as the time for the egg laying came closer. And even before the egg was fully laid, and with the hen screaming her protests, the mutt would have the egg in mouth. The most delicious egg never once getting sullied by the open ground. Fresh and warm, and nary a thing the human could do for the moment, the mutt was rewarded for her do diligence and obsessive patience, but was still punished according to the laws of the land.

However the human could not be there all the time, and the hen wouldn't lay her eggs if placed in lock down. So the mutt, still the protector of all that found their way to live on her land, would turn into a sneaking, conniving thief, and be rewarded most handsomely, that is if the human didn't catch her.

There is a lesson in all this, but not sure if it is a good lesson or bad. All I know is Sprocket needs to stop eating the eggs.


HermitJim said...

I can certainly see where this would be a problem for all concerned...except for the dog!

It will be interesting to see what the final solution is!

Phelan said...

Hi Jim. I guess no one liked my parable. A solution is something I am looking into. I will keep you updated if I find something.

macbew said...

Hi Phelan. I did enjoy your story. You have a gift that if I'm being truthful I'm a little envious of (but not in a bad way,I think it's wonderful!!!).I don't have a solution to your dog vs. hen problem. BTW I remember another story you told. It was about a woman who seductively tempted someone with food.A man came out of nowhere and tackled him.His friends coming over and seeing there was nothing they could do walked away.And a mechanical buzz going up his leg.And at the end telling us it was what happened during sheep shearing.I loved it!!

Phelan said...

I forgot about as easy as tearing the wings off butterflies. Thanks for the reminder. And I glad you liked the story. I don't get any comments when I write things out this way, so I don't do the very often, but I enjoy them.

Phelan said...

and the m on my keyboard isn't working very well. sorry about all those typos :D

small farm girl said...

Love it!!!! Sorry I cant help you with your problem. I would just end up putting one of them up for a little while and see if that helped. The hen would gradually go back to laying even tho she was penned up.

Phelan said...

We did lock her in for a few weeks, she didn't lay once. Maybe after the new chicken yard and house is built, she will lay in it.

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