Seems like a losing battle to me alright.

You ever been so sick that you wiggle your fingers as you sink into a vat of toxic waste, then get your super villains confused and mutter "what a world. What a world"?  Yes, that ill. I am that ill. Yesterday I wanted to separate from my body, shake my head, and inform it that it was dying. You know those nights where you soak the bed in sweat and drool, then freeze to death in the wetness once the fever breaks? When 70F degrees puts you in sweat shirts because of the bitter cold? At least a can breath a bit this morning. The fact that I am no longer considering cinching myself up in a corset just to help reduce the amount of pain my chest and abdomen are in, should be a good sign. Still unable to take any deep breaths however. And now this monstrosity has attached itself to the children. Luckily with forced insurance (that denied Small's recent ER visit) they can go to a doctor. However I hear this is viral, not much can be done for that. Hot teas for all! 

I did allude to a losing battle, maybe I should get to that subject. 

I have loved homesteading for the last 13 years. The rewards have always outweighed the horrors. However I have met my match here in the Appalachian Foothills. I have found misery. Everything that can go wrong, has. I think I would like to stop now. However we gave up everything to be here. We have no choice but to continue on, even if we are on pure survival mood.

Last night I awoke to a very loud metallic noise. My brain being on sleep mode and recently oxygen deprived due to the illness, mumbled stupid cat. I assumed that the cat hadn't realized that the wood burner was once again in use, and had jumped up top per usual summer days, only to discover that cool metal wasn't there to meet his tender paws. With the lack of painful howls, I then decided that the wood merely shifted and in dream mode it sounded louder than it was.

(Speaking of cats. Those of you that have been with me for awhile, know the story of my cat, May Maybe Maynard or Maynard for short. He has been gone three months now, and I have mourned his loss. He was an important player in my life)

What actually happened was that the stove pipe exploded!

Luckily nothing worse, like the house catching fire, happened. 

Not a thing I can do to fix that right now.

On to bamboo and cows.

I dislike my cows. Once upon a time I adored them. Now they have caused a community to dislike me (shrug) and a stomach ulcer to form. They will not stay in their pen! Every day is a battle. (Right now I am waiting for a text informing me my cows are somewhere). No matter what I do, they break the barb wire (which is now so stretched out due to them and trees falling on it). This is an unneeded stress in my life. Even unable to breath, I am forced to hunt them down, chase them down hills (ok, well more like a zombie shuffle with the sound of death rattle emerging from my chest) and repair fence. Which I have started using the bamboo.

It's not what I wanted to use it for, but it is all I have to work with right now. I don't have the reliable connections here, as I did in Kansas, yet. Luckily I have access to more bamboo.

There is more woe is me to be shared. But I grow tired and must venture to the shop shortly, where I will hide away only emerging when a parts order is demanded of me . I also realize I have not returned all your emails yet, I will attempt to do that today. I plead illness.