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Friday, February 06, 2009

Take Time with a Wounded Hand

Me, materialstic? You Betcha!

Not so much that I gotta have kind, but the I spent years gathering these things, kind. I started in my closets. My husband has more clothes than I do, so that wasn't an issue, but as I went into my bedroom and started pulling books off the shelf, nope, That's Mark Twain have to keep it, I found I had some issues.

I know that many of you are uncluttering your lives, giving away things you really don't use and have no sentimental value. But. . . oh here comes the whining. . . I have to give up just about everything. There is no storage at the farm. I can only take minimal amount of things with me. But what stays and what goes?

I decided it would be easiest to start with the things that we need to actually live. Not the pretties. I have an issue living without books. That won't happen. I, in theory, could leave everything behind and start anew. I don't want to, wait, I need to stomp my feet. I have things that I had since I was a child. The very first teddy Bear I was given the day I was born, I have a hope chest that was my crib when we went to see my grandmother. I think I will fill that hope chest with my memories, my husband's and my children's, and that will be all the pretties I will take. It will be difficult to leave the rest behind, but I have little choice. Emotional this is rather difficult.

We found renters that will make you guys proud. There is this family, the father is on disability because of 2 full tours for the Army. He is on meds to make him sleep, one to stop the dreams, and one to manage pain. His wife is a manager at a chian restaurant, and they have 6 kids. These 8 are living in a 2 bedroom apartment. What they pay for that 2 bedroom apartment will get them a 3 bedroom trailer and 3 acres from us. My husband and I have talked already. Before we found this family. We wanted to be able to give another family a chance, and decided not to charge more than mortgage. I would like to charge less than mortgage but that wouldn't be feasible. We are leasing out the back 2 acres to the horse neighbor, but that will knock only a little bit off the rent. The future renter grew up on a small farm, he knows the ins and outs and this will give the family a wonderful opportunity to live independently. I hope.

I have to go now. I have to sort through a life time of acquired goodies, tug at some heart strings and hope it doesn't break. . . to badly.

Me, materialistic? Unfortunately yes.

17 comments:

QuiltedSimple said...

Oh I'd be trying to find a way to keep a LOT of the memories! They are what will get you through the times ahead - knowing you have them and can look at them. This is such an exciting move for you!
Kris

Annette said...

Memory sorting is so hard to do. Be sure to have some tissues. I feel for you. You are welcome to store some book boxes in my basement. =)

Bethany said...

It might not help a ton, but maybe some of the things that have special memories attached but have outlived their usefulness could be photographed from all sides and journaled or blogged? Then you could have the memories, but save the space? I definately realize that pictures don't have the same material comfort that actual objects can have, but it could be a help for some of the things you'll need to purge anyway.

Good luck with the book purging! It can be so hard. Whenever I have to do that, I make a list of the books that I'd really like to keep "just in case", box them up anyway, and remind myself what interlibrary loan is for.

~Babychaser~ said...

That is so hard. We live in a small 2 bedroom mobile home with no storage. Oh, and we have a home business... and 2 kids. Each year (or is it every couple months) we have to make room to continue living here (or I start to hate it). I can't stand living in such a small place, and if we can par down, it makes it better. It is so hard to get rid of some of those things though.

Funny, though, how something I held on so tightly to last year and explained painstakingly to my husband why I had to keep it can seem less important this year. Another baby and more realistic importances change things I guess.

I fully agree with the taking a picture of those precious things idea. You can either leave them on the hard drive of your computer (or in a shoe box) or you can make a collage of them and hang them on the wall.

Another thing I find helpful (especially when getting rid of baby things) is to find someone who can really use them. This may be hard for some of those things that only hold emotional value, but other things are easier to let go of when they are blessing someone else. I've recently been able to change my tune to "I hate to horde something that could bless someone else."

Of course that doesn't necessarily go for those very precious things I have, but it helps for everything else. :)

Hope this helps!

Jessica said...

God bless you for helping a veteran and his family.

alrescate said...

Thanks for the ear-worm. ;p

Giving up those books will be *so* hard! Are there any you can BookCross?

Gina said...

I know you don't want to, but I would suggest (if it has not already been offered) a bit more than mortgage. Nothing extravegant (maybe 20-30 more). This can then be an assurance if they are unable to make a payment (or pay late), you can make the payment. No matter how nice or responsible they may seem, there will come a time they have some other priority and will take advantage of your generosity (I am saying this from experience). My guess is just upping the rent a small bit will still be a much better deal than the 2 BD Apt. Or ask for a deposit or some sort of signed lease with due date and % added for lateness. I don't say this for greediness ($20, $25 is not going to make you rich believe me), but protects you guys in any unforeseeable events.

The good thing is the disability is a sure income and people on disability statistically pay their rent on time more often.

I am facing renting out two properties if they don't sell by June. I was taken advantage by my last tennant and he often was late on his payment (which meant I had to pay the mortgage and wait for his payment).

just 2c you didn't ask for, but I hope you consider from my experience.

I think your move sounds exciting! You won't miss most of the things down the road (but I completely understand the book thing!)

Gina said...

ignore the typos! speed typing is not my forte!

Kelly or Alex said...

This is the same issue that we had to deal with when we combined 2-
3br 2ba homes. We basically had 2 of everything and then some. We went through and culled out things. Then moved and culled some more and are still doing that today. The kids made out like bandits. I had 2 daughters that were just starting their homes so they got alot of basics. Alex is very sentimental and wants to keep so many things that I don't find useful. The difficult part to understand is that they are needed/useful to her. I know the excitement that you feel while getting ready for the move. This will be such an adventure. You will learn to do so many things that you never thought you would need to do. Congratulations! Please keep blogging. I love pictures but love to read the blog so much. I want to go on your adventure with you guys.:)
Kelly

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

hot Dang!!! Already love your new renters!

Gail said...

This is good thing you are doing. Take your time with the memories.

Kella B said...

Hi,
I thought you might like to know about a set of books my dad used to have when he did leather work and bushcraft. But now I read you are culling books.... :)
There are a number of different titles by Ron Edwards published by Rams Skull Press. Most of them are about plaiting, saddles and whipmaking, but one I thought could be useful was 'Homemade Leatherworking Tools'. This is the website you can buy them from: http://www.ramsskullpress.com/crafts.html

Leigh said...

Not materialistic...sentimental. A whole different thing altogether! You don't want more and more and bigger and bigger, you want to hold on to things that are meaningful. I still have my Steiff bear that I got the Xmas before I was born, so tattered and torn he lives in a Ziploc bag. But not paring from him yet!

Phelan said...

QuiltedSimple, I'm trying but I don't see it hapening. Sigh

Annette, I know, I have a hanky ready. :D

Bethany, Maybe photos would work, thank you.

Babychaser, I do give away the boys clothes. I only kept their first outfits. They are so small that I know I can keep them.

Jessica, I love veterans, come from a long line of them. This is only a little something that I can do. Thank you.

ALrescate, I'm half the man I use to be. . . hahaha! You are so welcome. You should get a prize for being the only one to point it out. Most of the books are being crossed. Some are being donated. Ugh! I have too many good keepers though.

Gina, thank you for the warning. My husband has known this family for many years. We just haven't seen them in far too many because of the war. He just happened to pop into my husband's work the other day, had no idea he worked there. We are kind of taking this as a omen, sign, of what we need to do. As for them making any late payments. The farm will have very little out of pocket for us. We will be saving most of my husband's check. If they are late, we will be able to make the payment without hurting and they can pay us back. It is something to remember though, and I thank you for bringing it up.

Kelly, my husband and I were young when we got together, I was 18, so we have built everything together these past 12 years. It is so sad to see so much of it go. My husband grew up with nothing, so this is a little hard on him, though he doesn't want to admit it, I just know him well enough by now. I just have to remember that we will be building new memories as well. And that helps, sort of.

Cygnus, good!

Kella B thank you, I will check out those links. As for the book culling. At last count, 5 years ago, I had 3,000 books. No typo. Three thousand books. And have been given more since then. I will be keeping all the how-to's and the classics, it is the lesuire reading that I have to go through and decided what I can live without reading.

Leigh, mine isn't that tattered. After 31 years he still squeeks. His name is applesauce if any one cares ;) I don't plan on giving him up, he has been through just as much as I have.

Gina said...

Your decision, of course, and it does sound like you have a back-up plan, but I can say I knew my tenent for years too. In fact, I knew him from birth. He was a neat freak and cared for the house meticously, yet we still had repairs in the end (furnace, holes in wall from kids, etc.)Renters expect things to be fixed immediately even if you don't have money. Plus, because he knew us it was easy for him to call us and ask for rent reduction or to make a payment late. Anyway, that is just my experience. No two experiences are identical. I'm not trying to be a downer, I just know that I would rent $20-30 above my break even point now.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Phelan,

Believe it or not...getting rid of old things that have become useless clutter actually frees up your mind and gives you more energy. It also allows new and better things to come into your life.

When I moved out the country I sold a small business and liquidated a studio and a two bedroom condo. I came to Shanghai with a few suitcases and 7 small boxes.

It was the best thing I could have ever done!

You don't realize how much time it takes to manage your "stuff". I'm officially a minimalist now.

If you can, get this book: "Getting Things Done" by David Allen, I would highly recommend it. It's a how-to-book on organizing your life. The skills it taught me changed my life.

Good Luck!

-k

PS I agree with Gina about the 20-30% extra to account for unexpected circumstances. Everyone has the best intentions but good ol' murphy has a way of mucking things up. Keep in mind you are on the hook for repairs too. So keep that extra money set aside for peace of mind.

Killi said...

Hello, I'm Killi, I'm a Bookaholic. Honestly, I love the things & moved here with about 9000 ~ the container was for my books (many rescued from burning)as much as for the furniture & instruments.

I kept my babies' things ~ unexpected pregnancies happen in my family & I'm taking NO chances (in spite of the fact that I'm completely single!). Those things will be passed onto my crew later

Good luck with your adventure

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