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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Got Pears?

I have a trunk loaded down with hard pears. And as sore as I seem to be this morning, a sarcastic, whoopee!

Today we will start simple, and hopefully get increasingly creative with our pears throughout the week. Oh yes my friends, you are entering PEAR WEEK! Some material may not be suitable for children under the age of 14.

When Pears Attack.

Phelan was a stay at home mom. Making a living writing about the thing she loved the most, pears. Her research took her out to her squatter's mother's boyfriend's house, Where a hard pear tree stood alone. It's branches reaching down, yearning to devour all that might creep under it. Phelan has spent many years studying the pear, and felt confident that she could handle what laid ahead. Little did she know that this pear tree harbored ill will toward the homesteader.

She calmly walked up to the tree, making pear soothing noises, something that only a handful of people in the world are able to master. She reached up to pluck one of the many pears, when. . . OH THE HUMANITY.

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Phelan, a writing homesteader, reached up to pluck the pear from the tree. It snapped off gently, but sent a ripple throughout the branch. An avalanche of pears came down on her head. The pear tree was set in motion, his revenge began. Luckily for us, Phelan was so use to the migraines, that a little bonk on her head did nothing to deter her. She spoke to the pear tree in his native tongue, words that we can not repeat here on daytime television. Then set herself in motion to remove the trees weapon of choice. She threw them into her trunk, and removed them from the scene. Hoping that this would save any future traveler harm. She brought the pears home, where she could study them further. The first thing she discovered was that they could be caned in a simple syrup.

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With the pears now in her laboratory, Phelan set to work to discover their secrets. Simple syrup seemed to be the easiest and quickest way to pacify the trees weapons.

4 cups water or juice
2 cups sugar
yields 5 cups thin syrup

Wash the pears, cut them in half or in quarters. Core them (stems removed), use some lemon juice the keep their color true. Pack into pint or quart jars, pour boiling syrup over them, leaving 1/2 inch head space. Adjust lids. Process in a B-W Bath (boiling water bath) 20 minutes for pints, 25 minutes for quarts.

With this first step in the research, Phelan came to discover that these canned pears make excellent pear pudding later on.

Are you prepared for PEAR WEEK!


Donna said...

Have you ever made pear honey? My mom used to make it. Best thing ever on home-made biscuits.

I've made pear pie before, too.

amanda said...

geez...i never knew pears were so dangerous!

E said...

So now you are impeared?

I found syruped pears too sweet. I made plum/pear sauce, apple/pear sauce and dried pears with my pears this year. All very tasty. I'm making apple cider with a bit of pears added next week.

Anonymous said...

Girl! You crack me up!! Between yesterday's post, with the ogling neighbors and todays....I've got tears here. LOVED the commercials btw! :)

Cathi Weasley said...

Have my pad and pen ready....scribble scribble have my attention all week!! Thank you!!

fullfreezer said...

I had an overabundance of pears last month thanks to my parents. I made pear/ginger jam that turned out wonderful! You can also dehydrate them like you do apples. They get a bit crunchy but taste great. J

Anonymous said...

I've added this blog to my Google Reader. Thank you for making it worth my while :)

This was awesome. I'm sorry the pear tree attacked!

SilverSunbeam said...

What an impearious tree!

Have you tried poaching in really strong coffee with some ginger? Maybe I can locate the recipe for you if you'd like.

Gina said...

Geez, i think I like the second option for 19.99!!! :)

I love,love, love pears and watch overloaded trees full of wasted fruits all over the county I live in. Next year, I'm going to be brave ask for some of those pears!

Phelan said...

Donna, Pear Honey? No, I have made butter and ketchup though.

Amanda, there are very dangerous, be careful.

e, ha! that I am. Syrup pears can be a little too sweet for me as well. Basic canning them however can create some wonderful food stuff later.

Farm mom, we got to have sponsors. Pear week doesn't come cheap.

Cathi, we start a new one today :D

Fullfreezer, pear ginger jam is yummy. I have dehydrated my pears in the past, and used them later in items like stuffing.

Welcome back ant!

Silver sun beam, never have I poached them in coffee. Recipes are always welcome.

Gina, did you read the article? When my editor gave me that assignment I wasn't sure how to approach it. Definitely ask, you've got nothing to loose.

Carolyn said...

Bring it on....... I love Pears!

Annette said...

Girl! You are too funny!! =) I have pear envy. Wish there was a tree, even a wild untamed one, that I could approach. =)
I am rivoted, with pen/paper in hand for the day that I encounter such a treasure!

Anonymous said...

THIS was very funny! I enjoyed it. Your recipes make my mouth water [I am referring to all of them, not just this post].

Kudos for a fun post!


["e" - impeared was hysterical!]

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