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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Putting me in my place.

Logically I know you are right. I do need to be healthy as well as my family. But there is this nagging little voice, one that sometimes does a jig in the pit of my stomach. 

We have done well so far with in season game. However I didn't have a garden last year, and have run out of vegetables. I have some canned goods left, mainly sauces, ketchups, refried beans and the like. But no chickens. I worry that if I make too much food, what happens if we don't have a customer and I can't buy more groceries? We just went two weeks without a client. The stress was becoming a bit overwhelming. Up to that point we were getting enough work to have food and pay the shop bills.  But there was always that voice warning me.

My boys can eat. They can hold there own against the big boys. Large is slightly over 6'2" now (still growing) and the others are rapidly catching up. I on the other hand am done growing, and fluffy enough that skipping meals or eating less won't hurt my figure. I do love me some breads. So my mind justifies it. 

Sometimes I hesitate about posting things I have written. I had no such qualm about yesterday's. I saw it nothing more than the truth. I wasn't asking for help or pity, I was just telling you. Thank you for the loving lectures, I appreciate them. I am not alone though in the mom skipping meals department. And this isn't my first rodeo. Life happens, we make choices that are emotionally appealing at the time. My tummy may rumble but my heart is content. I would sacrifice the world for my clan. As long as they are clean, healthy and have happy bellies, then I feel better.  

Some days I feel guilty for dragging my family out here. So skipping meals may be a pittance that I am subconsciously indulging in. I have to shrug my shoulders on that one. I am not sure. It's that little voice of worry that gets to me. 

But as I pointed out yesterday, spring is at our door steps. Not only does this mean more work at the shop, but the wild foods, the garden, calves, and more neophyte homesteading tricks. With me now in the woods, I get to try things that I could never have dreamed of out on the wind swept prairie. I already have my eye, and my pestering of Husband, on one such project.  


12 comments:

Carolyn said...

Birch syrup??

longtimewife Lisa said...

You have always been real in your posting, so continue with your truth. I dont think you should feel guilty, as far as I can see, the family made the decision. I really think this will work,it just takes time. And until then, you can take some kindness from internet friends, let us lecture a little, as a mom I feel better. I do very much understand, I have done the same thing when my kids were little.

mizdeb said...

It's the truth of your life right now. You have always shared that truth with your readers, so I am glad you did now. Please ck your Paypal. I just sent a donation. Your determination inspires me.

Jess (Ozark Momma) said...

Meal skipping....btdt. And please do keep it real.

No guilt...everyone is adjusting and life goes on here just the same as it does elsewhere.

Much love P.

kymber said...

oh Phel...you know that one of the reasons i like you so much is that you are such a "romatic" homesteader - bahahahha!

oh do tell what you are going to do with the birch? is it syrup like Carolyn asked?

your friend, who will stop lecturing you,
kymber

kymber said...

woops - that should have said "romantic"! can you go in and edit it so that i don't look like a complete idiot? bahahahah!

Anonymous said...

If you are having financial difficulties you should look into applying for SNAP. You can also fill out an application for free breakfast and lunch for your three boys. You can apply any time during the school year. That would help a great deal.

kath said...

Better days are coming! I just know it. The first year of anything is always difficult. Starting a new business, getting married, becoming a parent, the first year is always the great unknown. Until you find your "sea legs" for the new situation, it's a struggle. I always appreciate your honesty in your writing and I hope you are taking great notes and keeping journals. This really would make a great book someday because I'm sure there are a lot of people trying to do what you're doing on a shoestring and not having any kind of guidance.
I'm very concerned about you not eating. I get exactly why you're doing it, but remember that your family needs you more than ever right now, so you need to stay healthy. As for the boys, I wouldn't feel too guilty. Judging by things you've written, they seem to be looking at this as an adventure, not a problem. Just stay well. You inspire all of us.

Phelan said...

There is no charge for breakfast and lunch across the board in this State.

mohave rat said...

I don't care about any of that. Go eat something sweet girl. It doesn't have to be a lot, but eat something!!!!

deborah harvey said...

hi, kiddo.
a few words of wisdom;

1 oatmeal! we are from W.Va.[in other words, poor] and we lived on oatmeal. it will fill you up. go to bed with a stomach full and you will rest easy.
2 pulses. as in dried lentils,dal, and beans. dal are dried chickpeas. my daughter lived on them when her meds were eating up the food money. she lost weight and was well-nourished.
she ate mustard greens, hummus-which you can make yourself--,chana dal, canned tomatoes in the curry, plenty of spices, prunes. occasional yogurt to provide good 'bugs' for the intestine.
a cup of warm broth with hot pepper powder and ginger which satisfies you, instead of eating a solid..
the condiments you have left are the things that make the pulses tasty.
you have not made a mistake. you will not be swept away by tornadoes and never heard of again!!
the dal doubles when soaked and almost doubles again when cooked.
a 7$ bag will last one person forever [about 2-3 months] and combined with rice will fill up your big boys.
Jesus loves you!
deb h.

Lynda said...

Why no chickens? I'm praying for Spring to hurry for you folks. We never really had a Winter...thus no water...but I'm still putting in my garden. Do you have plenty of seeds? I have tons! Let me know what you need and I'll send a care package your way.

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