Giggling. . .
We have a new member of our ensemble. Meet Chili.
He is part fainter part Nubian. He won't get much larger than this. He joins our cast courtesy of Small Farm Girl and Small's excessive pleading. He misses having goats about. So I caved. Small loathes school here. So a little goat to make things more pleasant for him was an easy decision.
The nights here have turned colder. Leaves have exploded in vibrant yet dulled colors. Things seem morose here. The overcast days, littered with rain, doesn't help the feeling of sadness. Though I am not stuck in a pit of depression, but the over all feeling of this place is one of morbidity. More so than any other place I have visited at this time of year. Fall always ushers in death, and you can actually feel it here. Husband says I have arrived in my true world. And even though I still know I do not fit in with the locals, this holler has become home. I have always meant to be here.
The full moon is startling bright when you are surounded by trees and hills. The framing of the sky still fascinates me, and I hope my awe of it never dulls. The scenery changes just as you grow use to it, and start to see the mundane. New brilliance erupts. Whether it be life or death that occupies the sight.
The hills have quitted. The screaming has gone into torpor. Or has moved on to wintering grounds. As much as it sent chills prickling down my spine, I have begun to miss them. I can only assume that the bean sidhe will return come spring.
Our wood stove has been heating the house nicely as the night time temperatures fall below freezing. My fall garden is still doing just fine. We learned that it doesn't frost down here as quickly as it does up top. That adds to my relief. I digress, the stove is doing a fine job in its temporary setting. Flames flicker well into the night. The hard woods make us smell less like bacon as the fruit woods of Kansas did. Medium is grateful for that to say the least.
Thinghere have slowed. We have done all the winter prep that we were able to in such a short time. Snow has begin to fall in the mountains surrounding us. It is just a matter of time before Banshee Holler sees the fine white stuff blanketing her. Let us hope I can escape up top when needed. The mud has caused issues with me being able to leave in the old Ford. I portend being isolated much more often then any one else has predicted.
Fall has always been an in between time, it's worse when you're in a new place. Hang in there!
From the bottom of this post I went back & read an old one, Friday, November 30, 2012 was the date.
Sometimes it helps to remember what was in your head when you started a journey, things like that (in my life anyway) get forgotten in the day to day crap.
Good luck with the mud.
Glad to see you on line again. When people disappear , even for a little bit, I tend to fear the worst.
The mountains in winter are very somber. That's why all the snow birds flee at the end of leaf season where I live. Suits me. The fewer people, the better.
I know what you mean about the mountains and how they make you feel.
Even in the flatlands or on top of the Cumberland plateau (where I live)autumn is devastating for me. Midwinter festivals are meant to bring a little or lot of light indoors with a fresh tree and fine food and friends. Okay, you have kids so the friends part can just be family.
I look out at wet, dull leaves plastered all wet to the ground and each other and definitely feel what you feel. However, I have a few things to get out of the house and do. There is always Walmart for bright lights. just kidding!
Green leaves and almost all flowers are gone eventually. This place has not succumbed and lost all green leaves on the oaks and hickories. Even the threat and the beginning makes me sad. And, I have SAD.
I think a camellia outside the window would help me since they bloom all winter. It may not be your style, but white walls help me with the light issue. I have light and bright things and floral prints on many things--cloth napkins are something easily changed.
What is it about the school that small does not like?
I've been worried about you too. I'm glad to see you back. I hope all is going well with the new business.
I hate to be cold but I love the fall and winter. As the summer comes to a close I find myself longing for the close of the year, to the slowing of the earth. Unfortunately here on the east coast we haven't had much in the way of winters these past few years. So I've been longing for a long cold winter to cease the chaos. My soul needs the peace and the safety of a quiet earth.
I hope the fall and coming winter bring you and your family a calm and quiet earth in which to flourish over these next few months before the new life and new energy of the spring arrives again.
As much as I like the fall colors, it always gives me a feeling of foreboding. The days are shorter, the nights are colder and winter is starting to rear its ugly head. I always start getting depressed when we have to turn on the heat at night. Time to start planning the hibernation!
I remember moving when I was a kid, from the South Bronx, NYC to the suburbs. It was the middle of the school year and I was totally lost. I was a tough street kid and these were pampered brats who took ballet lessons and lived in big houses, while ours was the smallest fixer-upper in town because that was all my parents could afford to get us out of the city. These kids were nothing like me and I never felt like I fully belonged there. Things finally started turning around a bit in high school, when I started meeting kids who were more like me, plus, I was finally adjusting a bit better. Now I live in a rural/suburban area upstate and I finally feel like I belong again. People up here are tough and scrappy and survivors like I've always been. The reason for this story is to let Small know that it does get better. Maybe not right away, but it will.
I'm sorry that Small is unhappy at school. As kath said, it will surely get better as time passes, but it's very hard in the meantime. I'm sure the little goat will help.
I hope he's not being bullied. He has his big brothers to help him, or do they go to a different school?
Rainy, wet weather, especially in the fall, make me feel melancholy, but in a good, quiet, peaceful way. I hope the beauty of nature around you and the hopes for your new life in the mountains will help to overcome your sadness.
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