The whinny post on Saturday, well it was written poorly, and not a proud moment. What it was about, was that I have been worrying about my husband's and I's relationship when I move to the farm. (I didn't delete the post, merely put it back in draft). He has been distant and seemed rather depressed lately. And I had a sinking feeling that once I moved out there, our relationship would slowly end.
However, something changed this weekend and made me feel a whole lot better about the situation. His parents came over, and I heard him tell his father about the plans with the farm, and my husband was smiling. Later I told husband how I was feeling, and he of course told me I take things to heart too easily. This is what he wants as well.
For those reading the comments left by other's that had caught the post. It's isn't a body image problem. I was complaining that all my jeans had these wonderfully placed holes in them. I was complaining about the lack of money, and just wanted a pair of pants that didn't show off my panties or bad hand stitching.
Part of the money complaint was based on one thing. The massive layoffs by the aircraft plants. This area thrives because of one thing, building airplanes. Hawker Beech will be laying off 44% of their employees. This affects my business and my husband's job. Without these top wage earners, no one can afford to bring their motorcycles in. And I, nor my produce selling neighbors can take food stamps, so we are starting to loose customers. One of my customers has been trading for homemade soaps. They are great! But I can't feed my livestock on that, and if too many people want to barter in this manner, I am doomed. All this was probably bad timing on my part. But we will have to fight it out to see how it will work.
We have just found ourselves in a nasty spot is all. Most of it is out of our hands. But we are still going to the farmstead, but it looks like we will have to sell the homestead sooner rather than later. That was another thing that I brought up. With things as they are, we will not be able to afford to hold on to the homestead. Winter is looking scary for us, already. The beginning of spring looked like things were going well, suddenly the brakes were thrown on, and we are finding ourselves sinking. I have a job outside of the home, not much, only a couple days on the weekend, but earns enough money to keep us put. Unless things dramatically change at the shop. We will be selling before winter.
Now part of the problem I was fearing with the relationship of my husband and I, was what had happened between his sister and I. He never once said anything bad about me, but he didn't seem to fully support me either. That changed this weekend. Sister's fiance is talking smack about husband. My husband is well known in several States as one of the best Shovelhead mechanics around. He has earned this rep after years of walking the walk, and ne'er saying a word. He has proven himself an artist that can create and recreate old bikes. He has respect in shops that are considered hostile because of gang affiliations, even local shops will send work to him. But because sister wouldn't allow him to actually repair a motorcycle correctly, they are telling people that he doesn't know what he is doing. My husband lost $600 dollars on this repair, because they refused to pay for his labor. They took the bike and are now paying a tweeker (meth addict) $45 and hour to repair the bike. This tweeker is lieing about the state of the bike, and also tore down the wrong side of the motorcycle. My husband wasn't happy. But when his sister came into his shop to buy brake pads, she snubbed him. He said hi, she rolled her eyes and looked away. Then later his mother called from said sisters home and said that the fiance and his father were mad at him, and basically said that sister says that she was screwed. My husband has never screwed anyone over. Even when he was using, he was still loyal and honorable. Husband went off. My husband is very laid back, he never raises his voice. And when he told me the story he was yelling. I asked if he had talked to his mother this way, and he said no, louder. When his parents came out this weekend, his mother told me that sister had really hurt husband. I am no longer on the bad guy list for chewing her out. Now the family sees that I was defending husband, and everything that I said was true. Things will get worse for sister if her fiance doesn't stop telling people that my husband doesn't know what he is doing. In husband's line of work, word of mouth is very very important. And one person can ruin a good rep.
Ok, that was long, but all true. I feel much better about our relationship.
Our dear friend Hooter came out this weekend. Next Sunday I will be taking him out to the town nearest to the farmstead. He has decided that if we are moving, then he too wants to go out there. (FYI he lives in the ghetto, another reason he wants to move. At the time the house seemed fine. The location didn't bother him, but things ave gotten worse in that area. He only hopes he is able to sell) One thing about this town is that every 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month, thousands of motorcycles descend on it, all to eat at one small dinner. The town is about a block long, and most of the storefronts are empty. He wants to set up a shop there. Husband and him will only be open to the public on those weekends, appointment the rest of the week. The plus side for us, is that we will have a store front to sell produce, the closest grocery is 45 minutes away. If things get better, this idea might just work out well. It is a small town, more people live in the area, and it is right off a toll road.
I have also been concerned about having to cancel my Internet service because of funds. I have cheap dial-up, but still could use that money else where. Without easy access here I would have to stop blogging. I can check in once and awhile from a library, but that would be about it. My husband said no, I was too keep the dial-up. This is the only out of pocket expense that we have for entertainment, so it will stay. You people got lucky.
One last note before I go. I know, groan...Phelan you have been jabbering too long already!
Some of my long time readers know that every July I raise money for Farm Aid (check side bar for their web site) Looks like this year will be no different. The charity fundraiser has me blogging every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight. No sleep! In the past things have gotten very silly, and we always have fun. For those suspicious types, I never see the money you pledge, all that goes through Farm Aid, not me. I simply do something to encourage you to donate. If you click on the blogathon tag below, you can see past posts. I know it is still early to start talking about this, but I am not seeking pledges at this time. What I am doing is announcing that the first business for the 2009 blogathon to donate something to raffle off is Outer sports. They have generously donated $100 gift certificate. Go check out there website, and start thinking how you can spend that money. (not just sports gear, they have camping stuff, thermals, and knives, I have already gone through there, some great stuff). If you are interested in donating a prize to raffle off, please email me (address is in profile) and I will send you all the info, and answer any questions you may have.
Ok, I had a dream - it was so vivid I was going to tell you about it. I was visiting you, in an old fashioned store front, in a small town. You were selling me cucumbers. OMG!! Now, when I do just that, it'll be deja vu. Oh wow! Good for you on all the progress. Very exciting for you guys!!!
I wish you all the best, whatever you chose. You certainly work hard for your dreams- may all the best ones come true!
Phelan, it's good to see you back on and blogging, my friend!
I feel as though I know you and your DH, even though I've never met you. I consider you both friends, and I take exception to ANYONE trying to harm my friends!
Hope things continue to improve for you and know that I'll be sending a lot of positive thoughts your way!
The storefront idea sounds great,Phelan! Maybe you could also allow a few other people to sell things that are different than what you sell. They could pay you a small rent or a commission on anything that sells.
If things ever get so bad that you do have to get rid of your internet service, there are always the free services like netzero and juno. We keep netzero loaded on my laptop so that we can have dial up when we travel. Some hotels charge a fortune for 24 hours of internet access. Just don't abandon your Homesteading Neophyte fans!
My heart was sinking when you mentioned dropping internet service. *whew*
Glad to hear that the family has finally turned on the light bulb about the sister and fiance. I am sad that you are going through this right now when there are so many other concerns. =/
Oh Phelan, it sounds like there is so much going on for your family right now. Nobody needs this much drama. I am not in any way implying you create the drama, just that you shouldn't have to live through it... But on the other hand, drama sometimes proves that you are really LIVING your life, not just letting life happen to you. You are a brave and funny woman, and I would be proud to know you in real life.
FYI, I have Juno, not a fee ISP, netzero is no longer free either.
Just a lil' FYI - I checked and netzero is still free - no trial, nothing like that - it is dial up and takes two minutes to download.
I thought you might like to know, just in case.
I typed "free internet access" into google and it came up as "free-dial-up.com" or some such.
Wish you luck in all you do.
interesting, because when I had netzero, it was free for 1 month, then they charged me $9.95 a month after that. Juno and netzero are owned by the same company. Maybe if you don't want an email through them it doesn't costs?
You should definitely keep the dial up! You would miss it, plus you can always get a good price too. What service do you have? How much do you pay for it? Write me an email, email@example.com, or check out my blog post! http://hmiller1234.wordpress.com/
Keep blogging! :-)
Thank you for sharing. It helps me more than you know.
Sounds like those times commonly referred to as challenging. My personal view is they stink like fresh poo!
Just grit your teeth and hang on as it will pass. They always do!
The storefront idea is a very good one. Weigh the risk but if the gain is to be had and it will ease your mind, then go for it!
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