I want to. . .

I have been online for a little while this morning, catching up on some blog reading. Looks like most of you are talking reduction or gardening. 'Tis that time of season.

I am hung over, no not from drinking, from working. My shoulder aches and my hand is swollen twice its normal size. This brings me back to, why am I doing this? In a time where I could purchase a wattle fence online, or have someone else can their hard earn veggies for me, or move into the city where I could walk, instead of driving into work, and have all modern conveniences at my finger tips, I still work for just about everything I have, in a more difficult way. And time and time again, I end up suffering for it, physically. Even my husband isn't as modern as most. Yes he does build and repair motorcycles for a living, but the bikes he builds are rather old school, and done by hand. No fuel injections, spoked wheels laced by hand, he puts a lot of love and craftsmanship into these bikes. Even my project bike is a Harley Davidson Flathead from 1949.

Maybe that in its self answered the question. We love doing it. We know the consequences for what we do. We will be physically older then we should be because of all the labor. If you would have informed me back in the day that I would actually enjoy this lifestyle, I would have laughed at you.

It's wonderful to hear some of you tell me that you romanticize about homesteading. But to tell you the truth, most days I really won't recommend it. I know, blasphemy. Yet, none the less, it is true. You wake up far too early and go to sleep far too late. You live off of little sleep and too much work. Every time you turn around there is yet another demand on your time and attention. It does get frustrating. Since Saturday I have been working almost none stop, with all the big projects that I am attempting to conclude. I want a break...no I need a break. I want to sleep in on the weekends like normal people do, or go see a movie, or even waste an entire day by just lounging around reading a book. I want to stop hurting on a daily basis, unfortunately I do not have the time to allow an injury to fully heal before working. Hence the shoulder pain.

I don't want to call the doctor and say, My husband was attacked by the rooster, and we think it is infected. They tend to have me repeat what I just said, not believing it. {Sunday he was blindsided by our standard rooster, got him in the shin, he now has two puncture wounds there from the spurs}

I would like to be able to make a play date with real life friends. I have very few, and none of them are willing to drive out here. The only time off I do get tends to be scheduled motorcycle events, rallies, poker runs and the like. I do love being on the back of a bike, but even that can get physically tiring.

Yet I still do this. I still wake up early to see the sunrise out of the corner of my eye as I care for animals and garden. I take 2 hours to cook a meal that will be eaten in 10 minutes. I still brush out goats, or dress out birds. I still spend hours caring for new vegetables. I still work to bring home sticks, twigs and small trees for fencing, or windmill stands, or cattle fencing.

I still do all the things that I complain about, moan and groan over for several simple reason, I am satisfied with the results, I love the outcome, and when I sleep, I sleep well.