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Monday, August 25, 2014

With an aching heart

I told Sci-fi chick last week, that no one has too much rabbit or cantaloupe.  She argued with me, as she tended to do, then laughed and told me I was right. And to stop sending her smilie faces, they mess up her computer.

In her revengeful playfulness, she posted two cows standing in front of a burning barn for me. She knew my paranoia, and played on it to the fullest. 

She has been one of my closest friends for years. Back in the day when the American Preppers Network was just coming into its own, Sci, Kymber, and I would take over posts, or threads, treat it like our personal living room and told the world what we thought of it, and to stick it.  We debated on anything and everything, subjects that make the general public cringe we turned into mock battles, playfulness and education mingled together. We had each other's backs, we made our mistakes in public, then solved the issue together. Sometimes our advice to each other didn't work, but we still loved each other for our stupidity. I believe that one of the reason we bonded was the fact that we weren't afraid of our mistakes. And that in reality we had the minds of 12 yr old boys. Always great to have in a relationship. 

She taught me so much about dehydrating. I think I just gave her recipes. I don't know what I really contributed, besides being her friend and allowing her to gritch when needed. 

Tuesday, 2 days before she passed, she told me she was proud of me. She talked me down from bowing out of homesteading, which I was close to doing. I gushed over the outdoor kitchen Mars had built her. 

Small farm Girl texted me yesterday to tell me the news. Sci had died from a heart attack. I didn't have time to cry, Sci would have told me to suck it up. I rushed into town to call Kymber, not knowing if she knew yet or not. I cried a bit then. I couldn't sleep, thinking about her and Mars. I cried again this morning when I read the tributes from some of our closest friends. 

Sci wouldn't want me to blubber, she would want me to tell you that a volcano was about the explode in Iceland and that we need to prep. It could cause mass havoc, world wide. She would want me to tell you that just because my life is difficult, I haven't gave in yet. She would want me to tell you not to waste things, find a way to use it all! 

I did have the honor of meeting her and Mars in person. My Clan went to Ok last year, before the move. Sandy and her husband were here as well. We had a wonderful time, and awesome food. My boys remember it fondly, as we talked about it yesterday. Sci's garden was gorgeous. And she was a brilliant hostess. I will always remember that day fondly. If you haven't yet, read her story, "Bacon and Eggs".

But I will always remember our last conversation, and how proud I was of her as she was of me.

( I am sorry. I have an unpublished comment from Sci, I was distracted by it when approving your comments, and accidently deleted your comments. I will try better.)


Felinae said...


Your post was beautiful, she was such an amazing lady and a wonderful friend. Sci touched so many lives and will be missed by many.


Home on the Range said...

She had a reason to be proud. Women like you all are an inspiration. May you be comforted in the memories you all have made. I only got to talk to her on the phone, and she was indeed, a fine example of what is good and right to stand for.

kymber said...

Phelan - not once did i ever doubt the friendship and bonds that our core group established when we all first met several years ago - not once! each and every one of you proved your friendship in so many ways. but you dropping everything to rush into town to call me - ugh - now i am crying again. sci was a one of a kind - but honey - so are you. and both me and sci looked to you as the maverick. you don't want to hear that because you call yourself the neophyte...but both me and sci always thought of you as bees knees. the Queen Bee. the one to turn to when one needed help. and i have no trouble speaking for sci when i say that whenever one of us had a problem - we went to you! you showed true friendship to me on many occasions - you showed your true colours yesterday when you raced into town to call me. i will never forget that. never.

i love you so much. and i will do whatever i can to prove true friendship back to you. no one did what you did yesterday. and you know what that meant to me.


Phelan said...

Dammit Kymber, you got me crying again. You have nothing to prove. None of you ever did. I am just grateful I was allowed to call you both my friends.

Judy said...

Oh My, I hadn't heard! Hugs everybody! I am at a loss for the right words.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry for your untimely loss :(

mmpaints said...

I'm heartbroke and I will miss those crazy late night phone calls about ziploc baggie seed starting, those stupid rabbits and life. Love you SciFi!

HermitJim said...

I'm saddened by her loss! I didn't know until today that she was gone!

She will always be missed...!

Cristy said...

I had no idea! I am so sorry. I loved her blog.

Anonymous said...

Truly a beautiful and inspiring woman. She taught me so much about real gardening, canning and especially dehydrating - but mostly she was a friend. A blog friend, I know - but a true friend nonetheless.

I am so sorry for the loss to Mars, her family and her friends. My thoughts are with you all.

Sandy Livesay said...


As you said before, SCI was a Spit Fire. Bulldog Man and I used to call her Pistol Annie.

You, and Kymber had this unique bond with SCI. This bond, I would call family…… and I'm honored to have the opportunity to be a part of that bond.

SCI wouldn’t want us to cry over her. She would want us to celebrate her life by working out in our gardens, harvesting, canning, dehydrating, freezing, saving and recycling items. She would want all of us to learn to be self reliant.

Your aching heart tribute to SCI is beautifully written, thank you for sharing it with all of us.

SCI will be the Angel above watching over us, making sure we follow through with what she’s taught us. That is until see her again………….

Phelan said...

Sandy, I know she would be making smart remarks about us "mooning" over her. Telling us to get back in the garden, do some canning, figure out how rabbits breed (giggle).

I spent the last two days blistering my hands, getting my fall garden ready. It's the best tribute I can think of.

This post is rather raw. I knew honoring her in any other way would have made her annoyed with me. That's just how we got on with one another.

kymber said...

oh Phelan - she would be screeching at us to get out in the garden and pull weeds! well, she'd be screeching at me and a few others - but not you - even though you posted a pic of "some" weeds in your garden - i truly think that you copied some pic from the internet. your garden would make Sci so proud. i feel very confident in speaking for Sci when i say that both she and i looked to you as the maverick. you are, and always have been the maverick. and Sandy is such a welcome addition to our core crew. and this losing Sci has made me learn to treat the relationships that i have with the people i love, even though they be a million miles away, as precious, precious, beautiful treasures. i can't ever thank you enough for calling me. not ever. i love you.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of this. We talked on the computer on a regular basis but I had not heard from her in a couple of weeks. Now who will I give a hard time to about my GMO corn and bug spray. RIP Sci and know you will be missed. FK

Wendy McDonagh-Valentine said...

So sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm sure she'll give you signs that she's still around. Many blessings to you for an easy winter. It's supposed to be another harsh one here in the northeast. One day at a time. : )

~ Wendy

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