If you don't have a calendar, the New Year is quickly coming upon us. For generations this day has given us the opportunity to start fresh. And in a way, that's what I am hoping for.
There are some things coming up this new year that frighten me. But I know that these things, changes, are important and required if I am to survive this life style. I must do them to be able to grow and become the person I feel I must be. Of course there are doubts that I really an this person. I am a suburban gal. I love the opera, and death metal concerts. And I like that the store is only 15 minutes away. But I also love the quiet, scratching the cattle, getting muddy, butchering our own food and watching my children play with the calf's. And yes, even mucking out the barn has it's simplistic pleasure (maybe sadistic?)
But as I think on it, I haven't been to an opera or a concert in a long time. I rarely go to the store. Truthfully I find myself becoming more and more isolated where I am. I rarely see friends. And it does get lonely at times. My poor neighbors, when ever I go to see them, or them me, I tend to talk their ears off. I know I am doing it, and I try to stop it, but I keep going and find new irrelevant things to discuss. At those moments I know I don't want to be alone. I am having a hard time imagining what it's going to be like next year.
But I am staying positive about everything we plan to do. I indeed need a new adventure in my life. I foresee the happiness that has the potential to be there, even if it will be a little lonely. I have my family after all. And of course the animals.
It all does sound rather depressing, doesn't it? Ah, but that happens from time to time. I am not feeling it right now however. Today I find myself in great spirits. Laughing and joking with Large and Small (medium is at his Mima's).
I am looking forward to all the changes and tribulations that will be ushered in with 2010. Who couldn't be, after all it is a whole new year.