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Thursday, May 21, 2009

You Breathe in, but can't breathe out

I walked into my house to find a 4ft corn snake curled up on the living room floor. Thanks Small!

Both calves were in the garden. I got Undies out, and while trying to get Courage to leave, Undies strolled right back in. I threatened to eat him, then a long sentence that made the guys at fleet week blush.

Since there are no other sheep, Donkey has decided that I will have to do. It's like having another dog around, as I go through my outside chores, this big puff ball keeps tripping me up. We need to find him a friend.

I hurt my shoulder yet again. I don't remember it popping, but the entire length of my arm hurts, and my hand is swollen and discolored. Has a migraine on top of that, and then had to go milk. I tried to rational talk my husband into allowing me o skip that chore. "I don't wanna. hurts." Bottom lip quivering. "love me." whining. It didn't work of course. I am a grown up and have responsibilities. What a spoiled sport that husband o' mine.

The best entertainment we have is watching the kittens play. It is like watching a slo-mo instant replay of an UFM event.

Will be butchering the Cornish today.

Tomatoes are hardening nicely. I will be able to give you a head count in the next few days.

Thawing seed corn attracts gnats like you wouldn't believe.

I have no screens on my windows due to various children and dogs that think they can fit through any sized hole they come across.

Today is the last day of school for my boys. What have I gotten myself into?

Boys peeing on the toilet seat, and girls sitting in it is common theme, and much discussed around here.

Have to give a shout out to Kelle's Never Done Farm. Why? Because I had a dream and that farm was mentioned.

Speaking of blogs, Meadowlark has a contest going on, she wants to see your porch.

Another one is a neighbor calling to tell me to ask husband to stop walking outside naked, she can see him through her binoculars. What is she doing watching our property with binoculars? Husband, why are you going outside naked?


Tim Appleton (Applehead) said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in long time. I would have told him to continue strutting out there you neighbors obviously wanted a show, now they got one! oh my that's funny. Don't know what to do about the shoulder though sorry.

Phelan said...

I am sure he has gone outside and given her a little dance by now.

Jeanne said...

I like the idea of him giving her a show. I would have out the binoculars too.

ChicagoMike said...

Great Post.

(And I am not talking about your DHs show. :)

Anonymous said...

Might want to remind your neighbor that the binoculars are a sign of "stalking" and could get her/him in trouble. I HAVE to wear clothes to keep from scaring the horses.
My wife has me totally convinced that rubbing her feet is foreplay.
A good switch on the nose convinces most creatures not to be around.
I use discarded panty hose stockings from my wife to put things in and then wrap the item in newspaper, to discourage gnats.

Happy Hermit ( said...

LOL - That is too great. From Cornsnake to Naked Husbands....

David in Kansas said...

Never a dull moment at your place!

Anonymous said...

"Boys peeing on the toilet seat, and girls sitting in it is common theme, and much discussed around here." Oh boy, that's a common theme around here too, girl. Hope your arm gets better soon. xoxo

Anonymous said...

WOW! I am not sure which topic to start with...
* hope your arm feels better soon
* my porch, eh?
* husband needs to shake it at her.

girl, you make me laugh!

Kelle at The Never Done Farm said...

Well, NOBODY can say you aren't honest! ROTFLMBO. Thanks for making me laugh today and a big thanks for the blurb about our blog!

I have to remind myself to keep some thoughts to myself, but sometimes they slip the lips, you know what I mean? I think I would have told the neighbor they'd better quit being peeping toms if they don't like your hubby naked outside. By who's definition are we talking naked, sometimes no shirt means naked, right*wink*
Blessing to you and yours this long weekend!

Phelan said...

you guys are cracking me up!

HermitJim said...

I think you have the best way to start my day...always a very interesting read, that's for sure!

I grinned the whole way through the post! Thank you for that !

Meadowlark said...

I snorted coffee on the keyboard at the nekkid+binocular thing. Yup, both those questions popped immediately into my head.

Peace to you.

Jenn said...

I SO understand the pee on the seat...and i only have 1 potty trained..2 more to go. Yikes!

speaking of pee, i thought i might pee on myself laughing about naked husband and the show...

Katie Z. said...

What IS your neighbor doing watching DH through binoculars. Sounds creepy!

Anonymous said...

Maybe hubby can wave the corn snake at her next time he's paradin' around in the altogether.

Put a sling on that arm and rest a minute, would you?


Judy T said...

I love the randomness of your life sometimes.
I do like the idea of DH waving the corn snake at her. THAT may pop the lenses out of her binoculars!
And do take care of that arm! And the rest of you to boot.

San Diego Farmgirl said...

Who in the world would admit to spying on their neighbors like that? I mean, c'mon! When you see your neighbor standing outside buck naked, you tell OTHER PEOPLE, not him! DUH! LOL

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