Late Night Pondering

Some times you just have too many thoughts rolling through your head to even lay down, let alone sleep. I am having one of those nights. It's nice to be able to write down thoughts when ever I feel the need, and nicer still to have a delete and edit function.

The good neighbor and I rolled a 1,200 lb bale to the cows today. My husband was ill yesterday and we didn't get to it. My poor ladies were hungry and I had to get it to them. The good neighbor and I struggled with it, stupid flat spots on those bales. We were sliding in the ice and snow as we lifted and pushed, twisted and pulled. It took all our strength and breath, and time to get it down. The ladies were grateful when it was finished. It's nice to have more than one husband. Ha! I jest, but there are times when it feels like I have 3 husbands around here, luckily only one demands my wifely duties. The other two are happy to help, and seem to trust me with their secrets/issues and friendship. But I guess I have always been a manly lady. . .ladies man. . . um tomboy. . . hot chick with lots of male friends, yeah, that's the ticket.

I was able to keep my house around 60F, outside it was 15F. I really shouldn't complain. I was just watching the news and a 93 year old man died because his power was turned off by the electric company. When they found his body, the also found his bill, cash was paper clipped to it. And when I went to look up the story I found forum after forum of people saying awful things, like he chose to not pay. It's cold, few people seem to care about neighbors anymore, and the government has made so many laws that many of us have no choice in how we can heat our homes. We are forced to rely on 1 company for our heating needs, we are not able to afford to be off the grid or provide for ourselves. More things like this will be happening, and not just to the old. Many able body men are unable to get work, no fault of their own. welfare and unemployment are overburdened, and I have heard states talking about cutting their welfare programs because of economic issues. I am glad my father lived with me. I have one elderly neighbor here, I will be sure to check in on them more often. If I can help anyone with the little I have, I will be the better person for it.

I went and checked in with my mother. Oh, I talk to her often, but she hasn't been posting on her blog lately. She hasn't had the access, and she is now back on line. The title of her post could be seen on my sidebar and it caught my attention. The content of the post was the warning I had heard most my life. Now I have not done my own research on any of this, the post itself touched on what many of us are feeling. What so many people here in America are feeling and find their way to my blog. They want to survive what is coming or could be coming. And even this post I am talking about isn't our deepest fears of our future, this post is draped in velvet. I can't help you survive, I can only help make your choices easier. I don't know if I could survive what is predicted, I can only hope that my choices are right. I think that is our biggest fear. What if I am wrong? I made a bad choice by buying a mobile home. I made a bad choice thinking we could only be more successful. I made a bad choice by not building a home sooner. I made a bad choice by not saving more money. But I have made more good choices than bad. I made a good choice to move away from towns. I made a good choice in buying the animals I have. I made a good choice to meet my neighbors. I made a good choice by writing this blog. I have much to be thankful for. I have the knowledge and the skills to survive what they throw at me.

I talked with the neighbor across the road. She had no idea what we have been going through here. Funny how sometimes it is easier to talk to complete strangers about your problems than it it to friends. She was astounded to hear how bad things have gotten. We have always done so much better than them. I shrugged, it's life. She was upset I didn't contact her about it all, but what could she have done. She didn't know, but that wasn't the point. He daughter-in-law's house will be put up for auction in a few weeks. They have the same bank we do, and they went through he same mess we did. The bank wouldn't work with them and told them that a quick sell was all they could do. Sound familiar? I wonder where all the tax money that our government gave them went to? Quick sell didn't work, auction is their last chance before foreclosure. It looks like they will be our new neighbors across the way.

My hens haven't been laying, nor have my good neighbors. The neighbor across the way however has more than enough and she is willing to share. My good neighbor and I have no clue why our birds aren't laying. There are no shells to say that something is eating them, maybe our thief is back. I fear theft will get worse.

I guess that's really all I have been thinking about. These things keep me awake, not all the time, my issues change with the day. It is almost midnight, and 10F outside. Maybe I should go curl up with my husband and think about the fact that I have been so lucky to be with him for 12 years, and that our children are healthy, smart, creative and curious (we are working on polite, having manners, and what is acceptable to talk about in mixed company) that I still have electricity, and food. That I still have a home and that I can be in the company, even if it is via Internet, of some wonderful, thoughtful, extraordinary people.

Do me a favor, please. When you get up tomorrow, before you head off to work, go check on a neighbor. Make sure they are ok. There are a few of us out there that don't like talking about it, but love the company.