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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Mob Has Spoken

I had this very drawn out explanation to why I was uncomfortable with placing a tip jar on my blog. But blogger didn't save it to draft, so here is a run down.



My husband's work's Christmas party was last night. We went to Mosley Street Melodrama. I haven't laughed like that in years. Then I came home.



The Homesteading Mafia was here to break my legs.



I don't want to feel like I just wiggled and said, you watched me dance, now give me a buck.



I want to feel like I earned it.



Someone mentioned that I get paid other places to write, just not here.



Someone else pointed out that I would be the first on the tip jar band wagon if this was happening to someone else.



I am hard headed.



If I do this, I have to make you a deal. If I can find a way to fix things without using your money, I will save it and give it to someone else that finds themselves in this same problem.



You guys make me laugh and cry.



Time to turn this ho into a whore.


This is my pathetic look.

28 comments:

Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife said...

Phelan, good on you for softening just that little bit. It often takes more grace to receive than to give.

SkippyMom said...

The goat picture about did me in...LOL...perfect ending to your post.

Phelan if anyone deserves it, you do. Nothing whoreish about it and no shame in asking. We wouldn't read your blog if we didn't like you and I think a lot of your readers consider you their friend.

And I think Kate [above] said it wonderful well...it does take more grace to receive then to give.

I wish you the best, truly. I hope everyone that is able to help, does :D

SkippyMom said...

**wonderfully

farm mom said...

Wow. What wonderful readers you have and what a beautiful thing we are apart of, this blogging community. I know it took a lot for you to do this, but you have given so much to so many for so long.....you deserve some help along the way.

Bethany said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'll make you work for your money ;)
How do you keep eggs from getting soiled in the nesting boxes? My hens lay at the same time, in the same place every day, I collect the eggs, and usually they're nice and clean, but sometimes, a lot of them are filthy!
Also, what is the proper cleaning method? I've read rinse them off, never ever rinse them off, sand them, never ever scrub at them. What do you think?

Also, your blog is a fun resource and a good read, so I'm glad to pay a bit now and then to keep something like that going. Not to mention help out a hardworking family. Maybe if you don't need the money for your mortgage, you'd consider using my portion of it toward something for those fun boys of yours?

Cathi Weasley said...

I wish I could help you out! December has not been nice to us so far, not as drastic as your situation though. You are in my thoughts!

Thank you for being you and all your words! Good vibes sent your way!

trying to live the good life said...

Phelan...speeding good thoughts to you in the mail. Hang in there---we're working hard here cause we LOVE you :-D
Monica

MeadowLark said...

I suppose you're not technologically savvy enough to put a total up, so we can watch it go up and up and up and get all excited like the for the Red Cross fund drives? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I'll echo everyone else's sentiments. It is what it is Phelan. We wouldn't do it if we didn't want to. The blogosphere is the one place where people can easily say "no thanks" to giving, since it's so anonymous. So just know that if we give it's because we want to and are in a place where we can.

Peace to you my friend.

amanda o said...

phalen,
we love you...and i am so grateful you changed your mind. i totally understand your reluctance, i would be the same way...it is so hard to make that stretch and accept help. hope you aren't cursing my name right now...i outed you out of love (i see i am not very good at being stealthy)
a

Kathie said...

I'm so glad I didn't have to send the goon squad to do a little more convincing. We love you and wouldn't do it if we didn't want too...

fullfreezer said...

Thanks for being you and allowing us to help if we can. No one would do this if we didn't think you were worth it. Take care.

Zan Asha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zan Asha said...

Oh dear...blogger ate my last post somehow...anyhoo...what I was going to say was: YAY! I am so glad you did this! I feel the way the others do, to the point that I was a few hours away from getting OTHER people to come on and harass you about getting a donation button up! How's that for mafia? :D

Caitlin said...

I am new to your blog, but after the heart-felt posts from others I just had to throw in my two cents. I have worked for a debt collection agency in the past, and the comment from The Thinker in your previous post is right - if a collector calls you, tell them who you are and then hang up. This will bump you out of the system for the rest of the day, and they won't be able to call you again until the next morning. And make sure to call your bank!! You can't give up - everyone's right, there's much more that you can do.

You are an inspiration to everyone struggling, simply because you have enough grace to accept the help of your community. It takes quite a bit of guts. :)

Kristen said...

Hi Phelan, I'm not sure if I've ever commented on your blog before, but I read every post and think that you are a funny, brave, and resourceful woman. As someone who has an extremely hard time asking for help, I appreciate that this was probably a hard post to write, but I am more than happy to kick in what I can, and hope that that's true of enough people to make a difference. All my best, Kristen

Irma said...

I looooooove the "compromise" you made with yourself in order to let us chip in: If you can get out of this nasty patch without using the money, you will share it with someone in a similar bind. What a great solution!

I agree that it would be fun to see the total climb; it would be exciting to see how much good can happen when a group of strangers becomes a community.

Anita said...

I'm glad you did this. I wish you would post how much you need, and how much you have, so that I could gauge how much to give. I think you have a better chance. (Also, I could portion out a bit more of the next paycheck.)

Phelan said...

Just to clarify, the bank did not contact us. We called them as soon as we realized that we weren't going to be able to pay. (because of that all or nothing thing they like to do) We weren't trying to hide from the issue.

And since you have been asking and since you are being so wonderfully generous (I so want to be you guys when I grow up) the all or nothing bill is $1537.00 As of this posting you have tipped me $567.16 after paypal took out their portion.

I am rather speechless now. Pardon me while I go cry a bit. Oh, and when I tell my husband. . . you ever see a biker tear up?

And thank you for being kind in words. I am thankful that the awfulness has not come yet.

amanda o said...

i know i already commented once...but you made me cry a little too with your last comment phelan...your sweet husband! i am so glad to see how much has already been tipped! what a great community we have!!
a

Robbyn said...

We love you and your family, girl.

Gina said...

Your Pathetic Look suits you.;)

Hugs...
Gina

Paulette said...

Phelan, I follow your blog regularly though I rarely comment. You are such a brave, inspirational woman. You're strong, don't let this get you...fight.

Ren said...

Much love to you and your family, my friend. Hang in there.

tygab said...

Phelan, keep holding your head high knowing that as life tries to drag you down, you'll have a lot to say about it first! we're hoping the lenders will be inspired to work with you, rather than against you... take care.

Stephanie said...

Just think you've given us far more thanus $1500 of advice here. It is money earned girl! I'm in tears reading all the comments!

~Robin~ said...

Holy crap, Phelan...I'm so sorry about what you're going through...fight like hell to hang on!
You're in my prayers...

Anonymous said...

I agree with the others, you can't give up now. You've put too much into this place.

Seeing as how I work in collections in a mortgage department perhaps I can give you some tips. (Hence why I marked anonymous).

If the bank isn't willing to work with you talk to an attorney and get some good legal advice. You can use bankruptcy to keep your house as a last resort. That's what it's for. An attorney will give you the ins and outs of that.

Most states take at least 6 months to foreclose so don't worry they can get you out right away. Request that they show you proof that you are the debtor and they are the note owner. If they file lost note affadavit you can ask the judge to reject it and force them to bring the real note to court. If you want to keep your house do not sign a deed in lieu. Also remember that in almost all states mortgages are guaranteed by the property as collateral, not your personal assets. You want to keep them away from your personal assets to protect yourself in a worst case scenario, but the bank will try to attach a personal liability to the mortgage so that there is no default risk.

Also, part of the Hope program helps people refinance their mortgages, but it also changes their mortgage into a personal loan that is guaranteed personally. (A sneaky paragraph snuck in by the bank lobbyists) No matter what I would not sign new documents without having them reviewed by an attorney. At any point they could add a personal guarantee to the documents whether it be a payment plan you are agreeing to or a completely new loan. You need a legal advocate on your side. Remember the banks have them protecting them.

Contact your Attorney General. Let them know that you have been trying to work with your lender and they are not willing to make any modifications or changes to your note.

Contact your local congress person's office and let them know. Ask if they can make a phone call for you. Politicians are very aware of this right now and it is a hot button issue for them at election time.

Good luck.

Wendy said...

Well, I pushed for the tip jar for purely selfish reasons - so don't go thinking I'm all philanthropic or anything.

If I can't come here for advice, I'll be forced to read "Hobby Farm", and well, it's just not the same ... at all!

*grin*

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