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Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Lost

It has to be stress.


I am lost.

My thoughts feel foggy, words keep dissolving. And I am probably going to get fired, because I have no stories to tell. I sit and stare, not knowing were to begin, and remind myself that we need to survive until spring. Things will be better in the spring.

We made some decisions that were good at the time. Things that brought my husband out of his depression, but now I might be forced to do something that I don't want to do, just to keep things going. We just have to make it until spring. Things will be better in the spring.

I was ripped off by some homestead rags, and there is nothing I can do. We only have a motorcycle to get around on right now, and there is nothing I can do. I am worried about money, and animals and kids. Neighbors moving or dieing, and there is nothing I can do. We just have to survive until spring. Things will be better in the spring.

They think the Lupus has invaded my mother's brain. My oldest is blowing it in school.

I'll be fine. No need for sympathy. I need to write and bring my words back to me.

We will make it to spring.

7 comments:

P~ said...

Sorry to hear it Phelan. It's a tough time all around isn't it? I do believe that you WILL be OK in the spring. I've read you long enough to get a pretty good feel for the kind of tenacity and pragmatism that seems to run in your veins. Day by day, little by little. You'll get there. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
All the best friend.
P~

Anonymous said...

hurry spring...

SkippyMom said...

Hang in there. I agree with p~, you have the wherewithall to get through this [from what I have seen reading your blog].

Just take it each day and yes, spring will come.

hugs for you.

Donna. W said...

Hey, I've been there before. With the economy like it is, I may well be there again before it hits bottom. Reminds me of the Merle Haggard song, "If We Make It Through December".

In times like you're having, I always ask myself this: "What's the worst that can happen?" (this doesn't work for health issues, but it does for financial ones.)

Even now, I tell myself, "The worst that happens is we lose our place. We can survive that."

Robbyn said...

Sending our thoughts your way...so sorry it's so tough right now, Phelan

Barb Smith said...

Yes, you WILL make it until spring. *hugs*

Woolysheep said...

Hang in there kiddo.

First find some melatonin at wally world and get some decent sleep. That will do wonders.

Second, (smartass mode engaged) imagine the gallons and gallons of gas you will be saving with only a motorcyle. Your carbon footprint just shrunk significantly! :P

Third (disengaging smartass mode) just hang in there. Spring will come and in the meantime there is the "rest" and contemplation time that winter brings. Perhaps the stories will get flowing again with a touch of time.

Blessings,

Kristi J

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