The Art of Corn Freezing, by the kernel

Hello, Kernel O. Corn here. You might remember me from such movies as Children of the Corn, King Corn, and Hybrid. These days I have taken a more serious roll in feeding your families, your livestock and even powering your cars. Today however I wish to broach on a subject that is crucially important to not only me, but to those families out there that wish to preserve my greatness.

Early in my youth, I discovered that I didn't care for freezing, as I baby you could place me in a freezer, and I would hold up just fine. But any older then that, and I would just emerge looking like I had gone out on a bender. But as an adult, freezing doesn't bother me as much. It's those knives that really grate my skin.

Long pinkie nails are for coke, long thumb nails are for corn. When you get through with me, and you see a person with 1 long thumb nail, you will be able to nod, and tell them that you understand, and it will all be over with soon. Since knives and fancy corn slicers tend to ripe at my flesh, I find comfort in that home preserver that is willing to get down and dirty, by slowly plucky 1 kernel off at a time. Yes, it does get under the nails, yes, one can explode on you. But with the limited amount of seemingly unreachable silk, and cob that you will find in the endeavour can be worth it. Ask my friend Phelan that has a gallon of perfect kernels in her freezer.

Once I have been removed, rinse me, and place me in the freezer on a piece of parchment paper, in a single depth. I suggest doing only a pound or 2 at a time, so that you don't run out of freezer room too quickly. After about an hour or so, you can place me in a container. After several hours, I should be nice and froze. Ready for just about anything.

This has been Kernel O. Corn, wishing you a sweet filled corny day.

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