The poop ducks

Some of the greatest lessons learned in life can be discovered by watching poop ducks.

But what are poop ducks? I hear you asking. Poop ducks are an elusive species. They look like the average park pond duck. But don't allow their mellow exterior aesthetics lull you into a sense of well being. No, that my friends would be a fatal mistake.

Poop ducks are indeed a spectacular breed to watch. The females are multifaceted browns, while the mallards shine in the sun, green necked against the white peppered blue skies. They fly in grand circles above your head, looking to rest in a body of water nearby.

The are great hiders of nests and ducklings. Tall willowy grasses surround their clutch, while the parents spend little time in the area to keep predators from finding the ducklings or eggs. The poop ducks domain covers three lagoons and one small pond, and they will defend it with all the are capable of.

Poop ducks mate with their loves for life. If a rogue mallard comes into the domain, wishing to court the middle aged yet pert female, the love birds will work together to kill the transgressor. They make nary a sound, except for a long warning hiss, as they approached the rogue male. Being young and in need to sow his wild oats, the young male believes he is up for the challenge, and wags his tail feathers in a flirtatious response.

Of course this only causes the older male to see red, and with his love beside him, they rush at the overconfident young un. Breasts bump, hissing pierces the silence and awe that surrounds them, feathers ruffle and are yanked out, an odd choking quack emerges from the piled group. Squawking, and feet flying, the older male pins the younger to the ground while the female does her rejection dance, until the young male lays still. In his death, the love of the poop ducks grows, and the fly off together, in wide spirals, returning to their nest victorious.

Bet you can't guess what I did today.